Matches highlighted or reviewed by Lexy are pulled from LAW's Match Compendium
The following opinions are that of Lexy Alan's. Her thoughts on wrestlers and their performance are not cosigned by LAW management, advertisers, or her baking company. Please take up any disagreements or dissenting opinions with Lexy's security detail provided to her during each episode.
The following opinions are that of Lexy Alan's. Her thoughts on wrestlers and their performance are not cosigned by LAW management, advertisers, or her baking company. Please take up any disagreements or dissenting opinions with Lexy's security detail provided to her during each episode.
The Stage
The camera fades in on Lexy sitting behind her desk. With a perky posture and smile, she sits up, a stack of papers in hand. She lies them down on the desk and greets her viewers watching online and on television.
Lexy Alan, Show Host
"Here, we'll be discussing highlights and outcomes of matches chronicles in LAW's own official match compendium! We'll also be discussing general goings-on at our company and I'll be giving a breakdown of things to look out for!" She finished with a nod before scooping her papers back up and continuing the outline for this episode.
"Before we get started, I'm happy to say that, despite several mishaps in pilot episodes and interviews, I'm eternally grateful to the management and our CEO for seeing that the good has outweighed the bad, and for allowing me the opportunity to deliver LAW news to you folks live on the air! Please check out LAW's website for merch and support us to support our partners like Make-A-Wish, Doctors Without Borders , and my baking company and lingerie companies, and other neat sex-positive entities." Lexy finished with a whisper, much to the dismay of those business partners.
"SOOOOOO!" Lexy said excitedly, spinning her chair before slowly coming to a stop and facing the cameras! "Without further ado, let's talk about the matches that LAW's put on this month!"
Match Review
Lexy would pull up a nifty monitor from behind her desk. It seemed to sit on a stand that was adjustable, allowing her to control the height. Images of the wrestlers she discussed, as well as clips of match highlights would appear on screen as Lexy went into detail about each match-up.
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First up, Aiko Moritake vs Korra the Enforcer in a standard match! Lexy Match Star Rating: 3/5 Stars
"Going into this, I had believed Korra to be the favorite, solely based on the substantial weight difference between the two of them! I mean, just look at Korra's muscles!"
"As you might expect, this contest pit size and strength against agility and experience! Where Korra tries to charge in to bully Aiko, Aiko takes advantage by using Korra's momentum against her, forcing Korra to eat a high kick and a dropkick to allow Aiko to take control of the first leg of the match! Aiko's strikes prove to be her lifeline in this contest, as her kicks and elbows seem to be the only things that faze her larger foe. But for every few she lands, a lariat, or slam from Korra seemed to be all the heavyweight needed to level the playing field! A massive Spear from Korra, followed by mounted punches opened up the chance for Korra to put the rookie away with her finisher: a backpack stunner!"
"Korra puts Aiko away in a match that seemed to play out just the way everyone expected! Aiko did all she could, but she was run down by the might of The Enforcer!"
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"Next is: Lyra Heart against Candice 'Thunderbolt' Edison."Lexy Match Star Rating: 2.5/5 Stars
"First impression of this one is that it's yet another October mismatch! And boy-howdy, does it live up to that expectation, even more than Aiko vs Korra! Seriously, who's booking and agreeing to get booked into these squash matches? These women have a lot of faith in themselves!"
"Anyways, in this match, Candice seems very aware of the gap between herself and Lyra. The fast striker can barely contain herself, as she strikes Lyra in the gut with a swift kick before the match even begins, risking disqualification from right out the gate! The sadistic heel middleweight never needed the advantage. After getting away with the strike, she finds it within her faculties to actually wait for the bell before her next move. Lyra tries to tread cautiously but she can only avoid Candice for so long. Edison pursues her with more swift strikes, connecting cleanly on Lyra and bringing her to her knees! It doesn't take much convincing for Lyra to come to the conclusion that this match was a lost cause. Candice's demands for Lyra to fight back are met with an attempt to flee. An attempt that Candice immediately capitalizes on! Lyra does get the chance to fight back as Candice pursues, but it is rather short-lived. Candice's strikes and superior in-ring ability allow her to dominate and fight back with an Electric Chair Slam and more strikes. But she somehow lets it all get to her head."
"She repeatedly risks disqualification, which ultimately culminates in her setting Lyra up for Shattered Dreams, ensuing in her immediate disqualification and loss in this match! Lyra is left in such bad shape, she requires assistance from medical officials, and is unable to leave the ring under her own power. Lyra may technically have the win in this match, but I know exactly where I'm going if I ever have to go up against Candice. I am NOT meeting her in that ring!" Lexy shuddered and collected herself for a couple seconds before flipping her papers and proceeding to the next match. Images of the next pair of wrestlers would appear on the monitor beside Lexy as she extended a hand to it and began to discuss a less disheartening LAW match.
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"Huh, looks like the serious matches don't stop coming. But at least this one is less of a mismatch, folks!""This one is LAW's 'Amazon' Alaina Sanders vs a newcomer to LAW, but longtime veteran Cyber Widow in a hardcore match backstage!"
Lexy Match Star Rating: 2.5/5 Stars
"This match seemed deeply personal and brutal. I don't know the history between these two women, but it's not often that Alaina skips all formalities and rushes an opponent to take her down as the match begins! Very telling, of both Alaina's capacity to be visceral and do harm, and of her relationship with Widow. This woman must have done her quite dirty! She ambushes Widow right away, running in to tackle her! Unfortunately, Widow is prepared, answering the charge with a big book to cut her off!"
"This works, but the Amazon seems unperturbed. She rises up to answer back with a series of strikes. The two roughhouse with one another throughout the locker rooms, throwing each other into lockers, punching each other with closed fists. Alaina manages to counter Widow's spear into the lockers with a DDT which busts Widow open, making her bleed! Despite the fact that she's cut open, Widow doesn't seem shaken much at all. Alaina takes control as Widow tries to get back into this! The Amazon gets Widow down and hits her with a double foot stomp to the abdomen before going for her first pin, which Widow kicks out of at 2. But as Alaina looks to follow up, Widow eye rakes her, stunning and blinding the Sanders allowing Widow to take control! The sick woman taunts her with pride in the fact that it was an anything-goes match. She takes some free cheap shots."
"A referee gets caught in the crossfire! Widow struck her from behind with a chair. And as the match continues playing out and Alaina gets the upper hand using a chair. And when Alaina is finally ready to close this thing out, somehow, in a hardcore match with no rules, the officials get it mixed up and confuse the referee's assailant, blaming it on Alaina and disqualifying her in a match with no disqualifications! Figure that one out, folks!"
"Anyways, I think this match shows us how things would have played out if hardcore rules were actually in effect here. This Widow girl is new to me, but whoever she is, she's at least proven herself to be very good at pissing off Alaina Sanders. Moving on!"
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Finlay Zeffer versus Dana Ashford! Lexy Match Star Rating: 3.75/5 Stars
"Going into this mixed match, I'd have to choose Dana as the favorite. She's proven herself to be quite capable and to indulge in teasing opponents a number of times. Right away, a contest of strength shows that the boy can't compete with Dana's strength or technical wrestling ability, as he gets tripped up after being pushed back. All the while Dana keeps up the 'old woman' act. She pretends like she's far less of a threat than she appears, despite womanhandling Finlay. From there Finlay is pushed into a corner, slammed, put in a Romero Special. Finlay does manage to get some offense in, creating an opportunity for himself to get Dana in a sleeper hold and take his larger stronger female opponent down a peg. But once Dana is freed and has the chance to trade blows with him, she resumes putting on a clinic! Dana throws Finlay around with suplexes and slams."
"She parades him around the ring with a torture rack and eventually lands her finisher, a Jackhammer which she calls Sword of Damocles to put the boy away! The Mature woman picks up the win. Finlay manages to leave the ring under his own power, accepting his loss without much bitterness or resentment towards Dana."
"Okay! That was a nice change of pace." Lexy says as she examines her notes.
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"Next....Hatsume Ryo vs MIO...Hentai Endurance?
Hmmm...we're rated PG-13, right?" Lexy would ask some men behind the camera. ""Yeah? Yeah, I'll just skip that one. And the bedroom matches. Man, there's a couple of those. Next episode, we'll try and get permission to cover those!" She said before pushing a button on her monitor to bring up the next match. She'd shuffle her papers around and clear her throat before getting back into it.
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"Okay! Izzia Oskevic "The Polish Princess" vs Fumi "Fox" Inari in a Submission Match!"
Lexy Match Star Rating: 4/5 Stars
"These two lightweights engaged in quite a bit of fun banter throughout their match. This one was a fun back and forth. Izzia's speed and power allowed her to take control early. But Fumi's cunning and more...'sensual' style of wrestling allowed her to take control using know knowledge of holds...and her butt."
"Anyways! Without going into Fumi's instigating and the panty slips, The Fox Girl manages to lock in a Headscissor to derail The Polish Princess' momentum. The Princess escapes but a German Suplex from Fumi keeps her in check. Fumi continues to display her submission prowess by following up with a Heel Hook hold. Fumi may have come close to winning here, but Izzia kicks to her chest with her free leg to fight her way out!"
"From there, a wild Forearm Smash from Izzia manages to turn the tides! She begins to fight her way towards a submission victory of her own, applying a Crossface to Fumi, and then transitioning into a Boston Crab! When Fumi finally makes it to the ropes, Izzia uses the veteran strategy of pulling her back to the center of the ring and reapplying the Boston Crab. Fumi, through desperation, manages to fight her way out with repeated elbows to the Princess' side! The two continue to have some spirited exchanges. Fumi manages to cut off Izzia's advance and flip onto Izzia as she approached and went low, countering her pursuit with a Standing Moonsault Press and following up with a Romero Special to try and close this out! She transitions and lowers Izzia to apply a Sleeper. But Izzia elbows Fumi this time repeatedly to earn her freedom!"
"Seizing this opportunity, Izzia applies her Long Bow finisher, which seems to be a modified high-angle Cloverleaf, to pick up the win! Phew! That one was fun to follow! Okay next!"
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Lauren Fredericks vs Gold Liger, standard match! Lexy Match Star Rating: 3/5 Stars
"This match pits aspiring rookie and diligent wrestler Gold Liger against a woman she believed to be someone she could look up to, her senpai, Lauren Fredericks. But Lauren's recent turn and actions made this more of a "Don't meet your heroes" type of thing. Lauren proves early on that she can back up her nasty attitude by out-striking Liger laying her out with a huge Clothesline! She stays in control with some snapmares into a headscissor, squeezing Liger and wearing her down. Lauren eventually frees her and Liger tries the mount an offense. The two run into each other with Crossbodies but Lauren's size advantage proves to be too much and she comes out on top!"
"Lauren stays in control and lands some slams and a splash into a pin but Liger kicks out at one and fights back! Liger reverses a headlock into a back suplex and follows it up with a boston crab! Lauren reaches the ropes but Liger stays on top of her, lifting her up after the rope break is called, she throws Lauren back with a German Suplex! Liger looked to close this out by making her way to the top rope for a massive elbow drop, but Lauren's experience clued her into what was coming! She rolls out of the way to let Liger crash and burn and keep the match going with Lauren now in control!"
"A series of backbreakers from Lauren helps her pick up a near fall. She seems poised to win, but Liger gets up to some mischief, firing back with an eye rake to turn it around! Lauren's experience must have come into play, for she cuts off Liger's follow-up with a Dropkick to punish her, and then she takes the action to the outside! Lauren takes firm control and continues targeting Liger's back, running her into the steel ringpost to do some damage before returning back to the ring."
"Lauren stays in control and picks up another near fall. Liger her heel disposition, despite being a face, and turns it around with a surprise scoop power slam! She slams Lauren another two times, completing a trio and covering her to pick up the win!"
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Next match: April Castle vs. "Tigress" Tina ArmstrongLexy Match Star Rating: 4/5 Stars
"April seeks to make a name for herself against former middleweight champion Tina Armstrong! Of course, she is the underdog coming into this but let's not count her out!"
"April opens things up with strength and confidence! Opening up by jumping onto Tina and taking her down into Crucifix Pin position to try and steal this! April remained tenacious, taking Tina down back into the same pin after Tina kicked out at one, only for Tina to kick out at one once more!"
"April kept on the pressure. When Tina turned the tides and applied a chin lock, she picked up the pace, whipping Tina towards the ropes and catching her with a running knee into a huge throw to try to pin Tina once more! April gets a two count this time but Tina hangs tough and is still in this! Tina begins to fire back here, countering a Flying Clothesline attempt from April and then countering a Hurricanrana into a Samoan Drop to get on even ground with her! The two continued an impressive back and forth! April continued keeping Tina on her toes with strikes and dynamic offense. Tina continued to hang tough and look for opportune to slam Castle's momentum away! April would earn another near fall, stringing together solid offense! A neck breaker into a springboard clothesline into a bronco buster into a wheelbarrow facebuster on the inaugural middleweight champ! But she was only able to get a two count off of it all!"
"The action would eventually spill to the outside. And Tina would run a lap around the ring, building up momentum for a sickening running lariat to level April and claim control of things! April would begin to retreat into the crowd. She risked a countout ending to this match! But it was all a ruse, for as Tina pursued, April acrobatically made her way into the ring by the corner and faked Tina out. She tricked Armstrong into entering the ring near the corner, and April dropkicked into said corner to punish her! April follows up with a massive dropkick to Tina who's seated in the corner! It connects and April prepares to try and end thing, picking the former champ up from the corner to set up her finisher! But Tina fought back, striking April and catching her in a double underhook for a double underhook DDT! But rather than go for a cover, Tina goes for an abdominal stretch, which April counters and sets Tina up for a Shining Wizard, attempting one last hurrah to try and steal this win! But she only manages a near fall!"
"With her options dwindling, April applies a sleeper hold, but Tina counters, shaking April off and setting her up for a Tiger Bomb to pull off a win in this hotly contested match!"
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"Moving on!" Ursa Aleka vs. Alexia Snjór
Lexy Match Star Rating: 1.75/5 Stars
"So this one is the little bear girl in the bear costume versus a heavyweight heel. I'll let the audience guess how they think this one goes.
"So Ursa gets clearly outmatched here. She tried to push and shove Alexia but to no avail. Nearly all of Ursa's offense gets shut down by a solid kick from Alexia. Ursa tries to spear the heavyweight multiple times but she might as well have been throwing gasoline on a fire with how ineffective those spears proved to be. A couple powerbomb and a near fall later and Ursa collapses from exhaustion and loses via knockout. Then her girlfriend comes out to defend her honor and the pair pledge to give Alexia what's coming to her."
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"Okay!"Navi Florges vs Victoria Vance in a tables match.
Lexy Match Star Rating: 3.25/5 Stars
"Hmmmm, I actually don't like either of these two ladies....I mean, they're both pretty mean.....so I'm just gonna....." Lexy flips the page and presses skip on her monitor to move on.
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Jessica Wright vs. Minerva Cartmill, standard match Lexy Match Star Rating: 2.75/5 Stars
"Jessica Wright, who I consider to be a rising star at LAW (though she's pretty mean), versus a really tall, hot teacher lady. I'd place my bets on Wright. "
"The two of them start insulting each other before the bell. Then once it starts, they tee off on each other. Strike for strike, each one to the chest. Jessica breaks it up by charging forwards with a sudden spear. She takes control and suplexes her foe before applying a boston crab. Minerva kicks her way out and the two reset. Minerva counters a basement dropkick attempt but doesn't get much more offense out of it before the two resort to insulting each other again. Jessica took initiative and once again regained control. A right hook into a running bulldog into a pin brought her a two count."
"Minerva blocks a German Suplex attempt and then turns things around by nailing Jess with a Clothesline! Minvera then backs up into the ropes and hits a running body splash into a breast smother hold and cinches it in deep! Jessica lasts in there for a short while but eventually succumbs, failing the ref's arm check! Wow! Jessica loses via knockout and gets smothered out, earning Minerva Cartmill the win via knockout! Better keep an eye out for Minvera and those breasts in case I ever have to face her."
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"Right, Mitsuki Blaze vs Daniel Valentine....hentai submission....still rated PG-13 on this particular show folks....SKIP!"╚════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
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"Almost near the end!"Gold Liger Vs Tiamat, the Beast in a smother match. Let's see if this one passes our age rating. "
Lexy Match Star Rating: 2.75/5 Stars
"Liger taunts her opponent to start. Tiamat proves to be faster than she looks but Liger blocks a suplex attempt. Liger's annoyance with Tiamat grows as she begins to wrestle circles around her! The two trade blows and Tiamat outstrikes Liger with a series of kicks! Liger finally begins to show life when she pulls off an arm drag to take the heavyweight down. She manages to avoid a dropkick attempt from Tiamat, causing Tiamat to get caught up in the ropes! A kick to the Tiamat's exposed thigh helps Liger level the playing field a bit. But another errant kick from her opponent bruises Liger's thigh and keeps her in check. Tiamat's kicks force Liger into the corner. And with nowhere left to run, a sudden smother hold attempt from Liger puts her away! She tries to hang in there, but ultimately, to no avail. She resorts to biting the opponent's breast, again, not very face-like to me. A tackle into a facesit smother does Liger in after this. Tiamat takes it in this mostly one-sided encounter!"
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"Almost done! Ok, let's see. Ah, a Jem Holland match. Always fun to look at these."Jem Holland versus Ivy, The Painted Lady. Standard match.
Lexy Match Star Rating: 3/5 Stars
"I'm not sure how this match got set up but Ivy seems to hate Jem's forwardness and Jem seems to think Ivy's sexually repressed. Anyways, after some insults, Jem blocks a back bodydrop attempt by kicking Ivy. Ivy responds with a huge Lariat, prompting Jem to get outta dodge and out of the ring. She continues to taunt Ivy, likely without a plan. Ivy's hatred seems to extend to the audience, as well as Jem, as she awaits Jem's re-entry into the ring. She gets on top of Jem with some knees to the gut the moment Holland makes it back into the ring. From there, she drags her to the corner for a chop into a big boot! Ivy pursues Jem and grabs her from behind to whip her into the ropes and set up for another back bodydrop and Jem counters it, turning in midair to land on top of Ivy to try and steal this with a pin! Ivy kicks out at two and rolls away and Jem tries to pursue to keep the momentum going! She running lariats Ivy out of the ring and taunts, prompting the Painted Lady to grab her ankles and yank her under the bottom rope and out of the ring!"
"On the outside, Ivy takes full control, taking all of her angry angst out of Jem. Ivy runs Jem into the steel ringpost, then swings her into the apron with a suplex for massive damage! The ref isn't too happy about any of this. She advances her count, prompting Ivy to take the action back inside. Once there, she sets of for her finish using her saito suplex, and Jem actually manages to counter it into a roll up, in a desperate attempt to steal this! It nearly works and gets her a near-fall! But it also gets her an angry Ivy!"
"Ivy his the poor streamer girl with a massive right hook and chastises the ref. A running kick into a tombstone attempt from Ivy threaten to put Jem away, but she once again uses that victory roll to try and steal things! A valiant effort from Jem but ultimately, only a near-fall once more! Ivy's hits the saito suplex this time into the tombstone piledriver in front of the hard cam to make an example out of Jem and put her away! Better luck next time, Jem. "
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"Okay! Last match! LAW Of the Jungle PPV event!Katherine 'Super Kitty' Hart with Tracy 'Circus Cat' Canon at ringside versus Natasha Rostovik with Valentina Vladinova at ringside. Special stipulation, Nat can only win via submission whereas Kat can only win via pinfall."
Lexy Match Star Rating: 4.25/5 Stars
"Okay Let's see. A lot going on in this match. It is a PPV quality match with plenty of twists and turns. To be honest, giving it a proper review would take some time, so let's just go over some highlights! In fact, going forward, I'll just be looking at specifics spots in matches instead of doing a play by play because MAN this has been work!"
"Okay, so there's plenty of interference from both tag partners at ringside. And that's to be expected. Natasha's tag team hardly ever plays fair. And it lends itself to some interesting events. You get to see everything from Natasha dumping popcorn all over a fallen Kat, to some high-flying action from Tracy to help keep Valentina in check when the heavyweight Russian girl tried to intervene. Natasha crashed and burns on the announcer's table when she leaps to it from the apron, only for Super Kitty girl to roll out of the way."
If I'm being honest, I was there to see the match live, it was a ton of fun if you wanna check out replays. I MAY have lost a bet to Jem who was in the crowd watching with me." Lexy would say looking miffed.
"Look, Val was getting the better of Tracy on the outside for the most part and Kat was in the ring nearly failing the limp arm check thing from the referee when Nat had her in her Dragon Sleeper finisher. It was a spur of the moment thing. Anyways, Kat cost me about 50 bucks when she managed to counter Nat's powerbomb finisher with a victory roll and steal the match. I'm still salty about it so that's as much as I'm gonna say on that."
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"Phew! Okay that does it for this Lexinomicon's monthly match highlights! Like I said before, I'll definitely be shortening those next month! More highlights, fewer reviews/play by play. "Thanks for joining me, all! If you're interested in being interviewed on the show or in joining me for a match highlight segment, I'm your girl! Stay tuned after the commercial break for a special PSA after the show! Until next time!"
Links to stuff I wish more people would read
Peace, Love, and Sexy Wrestling Roleplay Stories