The following is a series of clips gathered from various interviews with the former members of Upgrade: Maya Mason, aka “The Mantis”;Francisca Flameheart, aka “The Blue Fireball”; and Jess James, aka “Lady Rapture”. They've disbanded a shocking two years after the stable's creation, but their claim to relative fame was the many leaked videos of what seemed to be call-outs pointed at the LAW cats that slowly devolved into bickering amongst themselves, almost all of which surfaced shortly after they parted ways.
Though the exact reasons behind the group’s separation are still unclear, I believe that these should help paint a better picture of what could’ve gone down. As well as information on what each member has been up to in their collective absence.
Mantis’ interview.mp4
Tsuki: So, Mantis, it’s been three years since the last time you were seen in the ring, and your fans have been dying to know what you’ve been up to all this time. Are the rumors of your retirement true or are you and the rest of the gals in Upgrade plotting something devious~?
Maya: No… to both of those. I haven’t really kept in touch with them since the Powerline Incident. I’ve just been fixing people’s laptops.
Tsuki: …excuse me?
Maya: Yep. Apparently at some point someone mistook us for a tech support company, and we ended up with thousands of messages from people needing help fixing their stuff. We were running short on funds anyways, so while the rest found their own ways to make up for the losses we suffered in the incident, I decided to use that misunderstanding to our advantage.
Tsuki: Oh… and no one recognized you? No request to sign a laptop or something?
Maya: Why would they? I’m no Astrid or Harmonia. Besides, I think it’s a little better this way. If we had that much notoriety, we would’ve been way worse off after the incident. As far as the average viewer knows, some nobodies in costumes made a dumb mistake trying to get famous, and that’s as far as it went… at least now I don’t have to wear that ninja mask over my face.
Maya: …also, why would anyone want a signature on a laptop?
[The rest of the interview devolved into a conversation about what electronics would be better suited for fan signatures.]
The Blue Fireball’s Interview.mp4
Tsuki: Pleasure to have you here, Miss Flameheart.
Francisca: Pleasure’s all mine, lad!
Tsuki: It’s been a long time since we last saw you in the ring. What have you been up to? Did your loss against Barbra affect you in any way?
Francisca: W-well.. aye and nay… it’s a bit of a long story. Losin’ to Barbara like that opened me eyes to a lot ‘a things… things like how inticin’ it was ‘ta put yer body on the line …how the soft embrace of another lass could melt even the toughest defenses… how good it feels ‘ta-
[To comply with the hosting site’s guidelines, the following 5 minutes of footage were completely censored.]
Tsuki: …I-Interesting… but you umm… d-didn’t answer what-
Francisca: Oh right- my bad! After me loss against her I went on a journey of self-discovery. Took even more classes on grapplin’, worked on me timing an’ escape methods… even asked one ‘a Jess’ cousins for tips on dirty fightin’! …Me legs are still sore from it, but Barbara’s put me through worse… and I loved every second of it~
Tsuki: Alright… and what of Upgrade? Think we’ll be seeing more of you and the other two girls?
Francisca: I… w-well, I doubt ye won’t be seein’ me an’ Maya around, but Jess? …w-well… after the Powerline Incident I don’t think she’ll be stickin’ with us for much longer…
Tsuki: Oh. Is she alright? Did she…?
Francisca: Oh- No no no- she isn’t dead or ill, mind ye- she’s just… agh, how do I put this? …s-she’s been in a real rough spot after that day… Last I heard from the lass she was tryin’ ‘ta convince me ‘ta open an OnlyFans account. She said somethin’ about me “Havin’ the perfect curves to pay her out of some nasty debt with LAW”.
Tsuki: …and did you do it?
Francisca: Wh- O-Of course not!! I may have been crazy enough ‘ta put me body on the line with Barbara, but hell will freeze ovah ‘fore I even consider puttin’ meself on display like that! …’sides… most of the stadium was there ‘ta see her, not me… and I doubt the few fans I had stuck around after what happened durin’ the Powerline Incident… I’ll ‘ave ‘ta work twice as hard to bounce back from that blunder… but with all the trainin’ I’ve put meself through there shouldn’t be much to it! Not sure how far I’ll be goin’, but this fire ain’t out just yet~!
Lady Rapture’s Interview.mp4
[After introducing Jess to the camera, there was an awkward 2-minute-long silence
.]
Tsuki: …so… the whole ‘dethroning the cats’ thing didn’t go so well huh?
Jess: What do YOU think?! I lost my contract, my gadgets, my money… can’t even get my old secretary position back!! And as if things weren’t bad enough, I’ve gotta pay for all the adjustments I made to LAW’s lighting systems…
Tsuki: Wait, you made adjustments to those? Wouldn’t it have been easier to like… hack into a control panel or something?
*Jess looks at him for a moment, opening her mouth to retort, but then looks down pensatively as she seemingly considers the possibility… before slamming her fist down on the desk in anger*
Jess: …FUCK, you’re RIGHT! …it would’ve been a lot cheaper, too… ugh… whatever, it’s done now… and at least they got generous with what they’re asking of me. Strangely cheaper than all the merch I ordered to make for Upgrade…
Tsuki: Speaking of… with you out of LAW, what’ll become of the stable?
Jess: It’s disbanded… The only real incentive those two had to stick around was what I was paying them to stay, and I can’t exactly give them money I no longer have, y’know? …trust me, I tried.
Tsuki: But what about your fans? Don’t you think they’ll-
Jess: HAH! US? Having FANS? Don’t make me laugh! Most 'fanmail' we ever got were from old people thinking we were some sort of tech support company! And the only people to show up to MY matches were bought and paid for! Besides, the only things we ever did as Upgrade was sabotage SWAT Cats fan-meet ups and vandalize some of their merch… Just a spiteful bitch and the only two people she actually got to bribe into helping her with her petty schemes… that’s all that Upgrade was.
Jess: …But if the Powerline incident’s taught me anything… is that my approach to building a team that’d dethrone the SWAT Cats was fundamentally flawed. I had gadgets and talented allies under my wing, yes… but to even catch their eye we needed to be coordinated… an actual UNIT. I was never good with people… but I know someone that is… and I’ve got a feeling they’ll find a way to pick up where I left off~.
Tsuki: And who might that be?
Jess: As if I’d tell YOU! …especially with that camera on me. You’ll know when you see her though~.
Thanks once again for tuning in, and as always...
Keep those eyes on the LAW~. Until next time, readers.