Rock….Bottom

[Pegasus]

I never usually like to post stuff about my personal life and this is literally the only place I can think of that there’s actually people who will listen. I have not been having a great last few years. I hate myself. I hate what’s going on in the world. I hate being mad and sad all the time. Most people don’t know that I’ve had to literally wear an emotional mask and just put on a smile, because I don’t want to burden people with what has happened to me. I never wanted to ask for help. Never had that chance to vent. Until I met people from here and they let me vent my frustrations showing me nothing, but love and care. My friends and family do the same, but there’s only so much they can do to help me. They just tell me “Be strong and move on” and there’s those people that just tell me to shut the hell up. Get over it. Be a man. Well, I’d like to see them be in this fucking slump. See how they like it.

This all started, because of an abusive ex-girlfriend that always emotional and verbally abusive me, love bombed me, accused me of cheating, and so on, so forth. It always weighs on my mind all these years and it has completely shattered me. It happened when I was 16 and we were off and on until 2018 when she cheated on me. I was also apart of another fictional wrestling federation where there was lots of favoritism involved and I was shoved down when I started raising concerns about. I was expected to apologize for calling it out. Work has been rather stressful recently, too. That’s just the real world really. I had to leave a group chat yesterday with my IRL friends, because it was just non-stop political talk and I always told myself the further down that rabbit hole they went, they were going to eat themselves in. What happens? It all collapses. Knew it. Left the group chat and just need a break from them

Now, my grandmother has something wrong with her esophagus more than likely. She has been throwing up and hasn’t had anything to eat or drink so she was taken to the hospital today. Not sure if it’s stomach cancer or just a gallbladder problem or whatever medical conditions there are that exist to do with the abdomen. She’s 83 so she’s vulnerable to just about anything. It just feels like a lot is falling down around me and I’m just expected to not say a word and just let it happen.

I’m taking a week off LAW to process this. It may be more. I tried becoming more busy on LAW to take my mind off it, but the chain reaction doesn’t like me. What the fuck did I do to deserve this? I’m not trying to gain sympathy, I really just needed somewhere to write this. Maybe it’s time to go back to therapy. I just want to be happy. Thanks for reading if you made it this far. I appreciate you guys.

[anime_hentaifighter]

Sorry to hear this , and take all the time you need to work through this . We be right here when you are ready to continue roleplaying

[DSX93]

Jesus Christ. I know what it's like to have one thing going wrong after the other over the course of years, so I feel for you, man.

[Blade ocs]

I hope everything goes well and she recovers

[Teenwrestler]

Man im sorry to hear that dude! I hope things get better for you soon !

[Pegasus]

Grandmother feeling better.
Ex gave me closure.
Depression lessened.
I. AM. BACK.

Real Talk

Keep drama a long way from me, please. That’s the only time I’ll say it. I’m in a better mood than I have ever been in the last few years and I want to make this the last break I take for awhile.

[DSX93]

Good to see you back, man!

[anime_hentaifighter]

glad to hear that your situation has chanced pegasus

[Blade ocs]

Glad to see that things have improved.