On the first point, I'd probably say you could trim off the part after the comma. Or maybe to make a better flowing one try...Noob wrote: ↑Tue Oct 06, 2020 11:08 amAlright now that that's out of the way, a legit question about my writing. I know I use the same sentence structure a ton, particularly the following format where I just kinda add a bunch of stuff with that comma, sometimes relevant and sometimes perhaps not flowing a much as it should. I was just wondering if stuff like using the same structure over and over again ever bothered people to read.
stuff like this:
"The redhead would fall into the ropes rather ungracefully and face first, barely catching herself against them."
Also I was curious about people's thoughts on continually starting a paragraph with a character's name. Just another one of the many things im a bit self conscious of stylistically and was wondering if it bothered people to read / if there's a good trick to not wanting to do that other than "Just don't do it."
"The redhead could barely catch herself as she hit the ropes, ungracefully tumbling onto the ropes and fell face first." Or something I dunno, I couldn't really imagine what the idea was in the first place but that's what I interpreted from your sentence.
And the next point. I personally don't have any problem on reading a paragraph starting with a character's name, I'm aware I've done this quite a lot. Though, if there's any trick on avoiding writing that as the first word in the paragraph, perhaps try writing an opening sentence regarding the situation revolving around the characters but not directly pointing at them. Example would be uh, crowd reaction, describing what would the character felt at the current situation. Something like...
"The crowd roars wildly after that huge feat of strength she pulled."
"It was certainly a moment that she wanted to forget in her career."
"The tempo of the match doesn't look like it was going on her favor right now."

