No Laughing Matter: Aizen Yuzuriha vs. ???

[BlackAkuma]

Though it would surprise the precious few who knew him with any familiarity, Aizen was not, in truth, asexual. It might have come off that way sometimes since he never showed much interest in women - not counting the ones he had to fight, naturally - but he knew what he was attracted to. He simply never found the time, which wasn’t a priority. At best, those sorts of relationships were distractions, things that took away from his training and dulled his effectiveness.

But he wasn’t so dull that he wasn’t aware of the reaction his proximity to Trixie had caused, and he definitely couldn't ignore the feeling he got as she approached. There had been something there when they were down and she was all over him, looking at him with those strange eyes, her breath all over him, her chest pressing against his. It wasn’t an unpleasant sensation, and as she came at him with that subtle sway of her hips. Something deep, something carnal, something new was coming out.

She approached him and he approached her, moving her way with open arms and taking her up on that embrace. His arms wrapped around chest and pulled her towards him, leaving no gap as skin met skin. His hardened chest slid along her soft curves, her skirt folded against his lap, and his lips drew closer and closer still, inches away from a forbidden kiss…

…or, more likely, he was just getting her into a position for a belly-to-belly suplex. As the crowd discovered, much to the dismay of the matchmakers among them, that turned out to be the case.

He arched his back and sent her flying overhead with a release version of the move, sending her careening the corner while he fell backwards.

[killcarrion]

Classical overtures akin to the Waltz Of Flowers began echoing around within Trixie's vacuous head as the Carnival Clownette pranced towards Aizen as if she were on cloud nine, which would explain how absolutely weightless she felt after hearing her adversary's amorous love confession. All about how in spite of how he dedicated himself to the path of the noble warrior, the only battle he yearned to claim victory in was for her maidenly heart. About how the rosen radiance of her ruby red nose reflects the purified passion swelling within him that longs to whisk her away into the midnight sky~...HEY HE COULD SAY ALL OF THAT ONE DAY. Let Trixie have this one implausible and delusional fantasy. One which was apparently coming true as her brawling admirer actually caught her with open arms and embracing security.

*Ahhhh~...It's like cuddling up to a chiseled slab of beef~...Only muskier and sweatier~...* Trixie jubilantly thought as she affectionately snuggled her cheek up against Aizens defined pectorals, a slight trail of drool seeping from the corner of her blissful smile. Admiring the rigid physique that her supple softness nuzzled up against until opting to gaze longingly up at her knight in sweaty armor. Trixie emphatically puckering up her lips and inching closer to what would assuredly be fireworks brighter than any she'd seen emblazoned in the night sky~...and she was technically right since she started seeing stars soon after being chucked overhead into a yelping and barrel-rolling backslam against the corner turnbuckle. "W...Wow...What a man~..." A spiral-eyed Trixie babbled out while upside-down with her skirt uplifted before splatting face first into the canvas. A small chorus of boos overheard from Aizen's cold hearted rebuke.

[BlackAkuma]

Aizen didn’t care much for playing to the crowd, not buying into that aspect of the sport. He understood that their participation made wrestling different from other sports, but he had never needed support when he fought on the street, and that wasn’t about to change. He was more than accustomed to fighting with the people against him - half the time, he was being watched by people who had actual money to lose if he emerged victorious. Whether or not they liked him was entirely beside the point.

But, still, he had to confess that their response to him giving Trixie a simple suplex confused him. He hadn't done anything underhanded. He hadn't cheated or even come at her from behind. He’d just hit her with an essential move that any Young Lion would’ve been able to do in their first week of training, but from how they reacted, you’d be forgiven for thinking he waylaid her with a chair to the face.

Perplexing as it was, he did his best to focus on the task at hand. This was likely Trixie’s strategy, confusing and confounding him into making mistakes. Cunning, more than he would’ve expected from someone dressed like this…which was probably the point.

Summoning his resolve, he rolled over and pushed up to his feet, making his way over after Trixie flopped to her front. He came up behind her, reached down, wrapped his arm around her neck, and pulled her back up to her feet as he locked her in a tight sleeper hold, looking to put a hard stop to her antics. ”I can see what you’re trying to do. It won’t work.”

[killcarrion]

While the audiences overwhelmingly negative reception to Aizen's judo-flipping rebuke of Trixie's affections may have confounded the stoic martial artist, the clownette could have pieced it together no problem for him had she not been suffering from an extreme case of vertigo at the moment. Trixie's expressive facials and swooning behavior all but etched into the clouds with sky writing that she was enamored with the jacked porcupine, an adorable cuteness factor in her favor as well that curried even more support in her lovesick favor. And all she got for opening her maiden heart to the stern fighter was a long walk off a short pier, or in this case a heaving shoulder throw into a padded turnbuckle. Apparently Aizen was not only tragically born without a funny bone, but her spiky haired foe seemed to lack one single solitary romantic bone either. How tragic...

Luckily for Trixie in her bamboozled confusion she initially misinterpreted what just happened as the kiss of a lifetime, knocking her rainbow-colored socks off and propelling her damn near across the ring to boot. Trixie limp and lifeless but sporting a delirious smile as she was hauled off the canvas and awakened from her daydream of a picnic on the beach with Aizen hugging her from behind...into the grim reality of Aizen hugging her from behind. Except a skosh tighter than she would have preferred!!! The pinkette cycling her legs in mid-air as those muscled arms swelled around her, draining her manic energy until she started against him with a dazed look in her eyes. "D-Do I really look like someone who has a plan? Sides, I think yah got me, pilgrim. Looks like the show's over. Time to turn off the spotlight. But first..." Trixie muttered with a lethargic breath while raising her arm as if to signal a submission...

"I think you dropped something." Trix's hand revealing Aizen's belt, whose pants had dropped to his ankles. His unmentionables now quite unmentionable.

[BlackAkuma]

In the back of Aizen’s mind, he was already preparing a post-mortem for this match. He was reasonably certain he could win it with this move, simply putting Trixie to sleep and stopping her insane antics, but he could hardly call that a clean victory. It was far from his first fighting an unorthodox opponent, and he shouldn’t have let her get to him this much, shouldn’t have been thrown off by her eccentric style. But this was not what a sane man could prepare for, far beyond his experiences.

There would need to be thinking. Planning. Adapting. He couldn't find himself in this position ever again.

Aizen kept those thoughts suppressed for the moment, however, as he focused on the task at hand: putting Trixie to sleep. It was a simple objective, but one that was proving frustratingly difficult, as she was still able to squeak out a few words. He paid them little mind, however, choosing instead to stay quiet and put his all into finishing this match and saving the remnants of his dignity.

That was, until he noticed the belt in her hand. ”Where did you-”

His unfinished question was answered, as his pants flopped to the floor, revealing his plain white boxers to the world. As disciplined as Aizen styled himself to be, this was enough to take even him off guard, and he immediately let go of the hold, reaching down with one hand while the other went for the belt. ”Give that back!”

[killcarrion]

Typically muscle memory kicks in whenever someone is in dire straits. You know, in a real pickle. And Trixie could satisfactorily say that feeling like her noggin's stuck in a torqued vice made out of pure muscle qualifies as a whole goshdarn jar of pickles. Combat training or self-defense lessons would probably be what your average citizen would fall back on in this kind of predicament, except all Trixie had in case of emergencies was her Master's Degree from Clown College and nimble sleight of hand. Trixie breathing more than a sigh of relief after her comedic chicanery ended up saving her bacon as she heaved, hacked and chortled while slouched over a few steps ahead of Aizen. "...*pant*...*pant*...that was a close one. Guess you could say I caught you with your pants down-"

Trixie balked from Aizen attempting to snatch the belt out of her hand, the clownette hopping back a step and lifting the belt in the air behind her. A scolding index finger wagging right in front of him from a pouting Trix. "HupHup, hold it right there Buster Brown. You've got some nerve toying with the heart of a pure and innocent maiden. I'm beginning to think all you ever wanted from this relationship of ours was just another meat headed scrap. A fracas. A donnybrook. Well...*sniff*...if that's what it will take to earn my beloved's affection..." Trixie sorrowfully stated while chucking the belt at Aizen, tears in her eyes as she allowed him the chance to mercifully correct his embarrassing wardrobe malfunction...but once finished he'd find his jaw snatched into Trixie's Cartwheel Cutter!!!

[BlackAkuma]

…what just happened?

Aizen found himself on his back, staring up at the ceiling, with no earthly recollection of how he could’ve gotten in this position. His head hurt and felt as if a hammer had struck it, but why? Had Trixie hit him with a move?

He blinked a few times and shook his head, trying hard to put all the pieces together. He remembered reaching for the belt, trying to get it back, demanding that she hand it over and end this foolishness. To his great astonishment, she actually acquiesced to the request, and he moved to secure his waist again, eager to start the match up and bring this farce to a close…

And that was the last thing he recalled. That, and a sudden burst of movement as she reached out, snagged his head, and…

Yes. Yes, she hit him with a move. She seized a moment of vulnerability, one she created, and used it to get in a good attack, as any fighter would’ve. He couldn't be mad, even though he desperately wanted to be. It was the same concept as a boxer’s feint, just unorthodox in practice.

Regardless, it had him laid out for the moment, and there was little he could do but roll from side to side and rub his aching skull, as he tried to marshall his senses.

[killcarrion]

Whoopsie Doodle~...Trixie may have neglected to mention throughout all of her hilarious hijinks and theatrical chicanery that she actually picked up a thing or two watching rasslers grapple and junk back in the training rooms backstage. A few minutes of thoughtful rumination was all she needed to get the gist of thole dealio and start concocting ways to combine her trapeze artistry with legit wrestling maneuvers. Which is a testimony to simultaneously Trixie's natural aptitude for the combative sport of wrestling in general, and her own spastic attention span. Aizen getting a glimpse into the former after becoming acutely aware of the latter as Trix kipped up to her feet after the cartwheeling cutter.

"Phew, Yowie Wowie~...why didn't you tell me how much fun all this wrestling stuff was?" Trixie merrily exclaimed with hands balled on her waist, proudly puffing out her buoyant bosom but balking when realizing her battered beau wouldn't be bamboozled forever. The clownette thinking on the fly and joyously leaping over Aizen to a revealing up skirted glimpse of her polka dotted undergarment towards the nearest corner turnbuckle. A nimble scamper up to the top taken where she'd perform a corkscrew moonsault with spiraling rotations attempted to splashdown upon the fighter's midsection. Trixie hooking one leg for a pin with eager determination should her clowning caper go off without a hitch.

[BlackAkuma]

Aizen liked to think of himself as a reasonable man. A controlled man. A man in touch with reality. He didn’t like to sugarcoat things, and tried his best to accept the world as it was, not as how he wanted to be. It was an essential trait for any martial artist. In order to progress and improve, you had to have an understanding of who you were, what your body could do, what your mind could achieve, where you excelled and where you lacked.

But damned if he could make any sense of what was happening right now.

But all rights, he should’ve finished this match by now. His opponent was a joke, an actual clown. She shouldn’t have been able to last against him, let alone get any real offense, and yet here he was, on his back with an aching skull, while she…

…wait, where was she?

He opened his eyes wide to see her soaring through the air, twisting about in what he had to concede was a skillful maneuver. He had little time to admire it, however, before she slammed into him with far more force than he would’ve expected. Her jerked up, only for her to bring him back down and secure a deftly executed pin.

The referee started the count right away, striking once, twice, and then-

He jerked up just after the second slap, breaking the count and rolling over to his chest. It was all he could do at the moment, however, as her momentous and mounting attacks took their toll.

[killcarrion]

Spiraling through mid-air was scarcely a foreign concept for Trixie given her trapeze pedigree underneath the Big Top, at least before she settled on professional clowning as her main contribution to the circus troupe. As a matter of fact the clownette does some of her best ruminating whenever twisting all about in the middle of a freefall. *...I wonder if I left the stove on this morning...Hmm, hope not. I've still got some burn damage from the last time I-Whoop, there's my landing pad~...* Trixie, somehow in the middle of her eighth rotation without being dizzied in the slightest, locking onto the splayed out martial artist as her cushioned beefcake splash zone that took the air right out of the big lug.

Trixie's subsequent pin attempt coming with her tongue poking out the side of her mouth given the earnest effort she was assigning to it, but her prickly foe shifted himself to his side to a deflating flapping of the harlequin's lush lips as she slung herself over his back. The audience captivated by the frenetic jester showcasing actual wrestling techniques as the possibility of the hardened warrior losing to a madcap jester continued becoming more of a possible outcome. Trixie not taking her failed pin lying down, not when she'd rather be taking it with a handstand right beside Aizen before attempting to topple down into a stalled leg drop, with a snug headscissors tightened on afterwards by the adept clownette.