No Laughing Matter: Aizen Yuzuriha vs. ???

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No Laughing Matter: Aizen Yuzuriha vs. ???

Unread post by BlackAkuma »

***
Match Type
No Disqualification
Victory Conditions
Pinfall, Submission, or KO
***
Aizen Yuzuriha was in a good mood.

Granted, you could be forgiven for not knowing that, seeing as he did absolutely nothing to show that to the world. It was the start of another episode of LAW, and he was coming out to the ring to kick things off in his usual style. His theme music played, the man himself came strolling out to the ring with his usual style - an unflinching, focused march to the ring, all business, no detours, no high-fives. He was the same stodgy, focused fighter that they all had come to expect, even with his relatively few appearances on the brand. A focused, honed warrior.

But inside, he was quite happy - or, at least as close as a guy like him could get to that notion. It had taken him a little while, but he’d finally managed to get what he wanted out of LAW - a No DQ match.

While Aizen had no qualms doing standard matches, there was no getting around the fact that, at heart, he was a street fighter. That was where he came up, struggling in some for the dirtiest alleys and dirtiest fighters Japan had to offer. He’d come to LAW in hopes of wideneding his pool of opponents in ways he couldn't have dreamt of before, but he well recognized that would come with certain limits, that he would, perhaps, not always find himself in the kind of environments he might have liked. That he would have to fight in a sterile ring, with set rules, and a referee to confine him.

He accepted that. He didn’t like it, but he accepted it. It didn’t mean he couldn't fight for more, though, and after a solid month of pushing with management - ‘pestering’, as they would’ve called it - he had what he desired most: A No Disqualifications match. As close to a street fight as one could get without going to the actual street. An anywhere goes match, with the referee only present for the falls.

It was his wheelhouse, and knowing that management would indulge him in such things was almost enough to make him smile.

He didn’t, mind you. But it came close.

That being said, the one worry in his mind was who his opponent would be. He knew that LAW was host to some rather colorful characters, and while he’d made piece with the fact that he would have to deal with some of the less professional wrestlers that the place had to offer, he still held out hope for things to remain mostly serious, not wanting to spend too much time dealing with unserious opponents. A quick thought back to his first match dispelled those fears, however. Wyvern had a been truly worthy opponent, one of the best he’d ever faced despite the match being sadly cut short, and he was already looking forward to their rematch. He could afford to have a little faith.

Confident, driven, and focused, he made his way through the ropes and took his place in the corner, where he did some last minute stretching while the music died down.
Last edited by BlackAkuma on Thu Nov 03, 2022 7:17 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: No Laughing Matter: Aizen Yuzuriha vs. ???

Unread post by killcarrion »

"Ah, Mr.Yuzuriha? I'm getting some feedback from backstage producers. They're having some issues uh, f-finding your opponent. I'll keep you updated."

Whatever bravery the referee mustered up to impart that distressing bit of bad news would vanish instantaneously as he skedaddled before Aizen even had the chance to reply with any well-deserved indignation. The official positioning themself on the side of the ring closest to the timekeeper's table as they began chatting and exchanging information. The duo clearly appearing distressed with phrases such as "...we looked everywhere. The basement, The roof..." and "...it's a madhouse backstage, everyone's flipping the fuck out..." being overheard by anyone who just so happened to be within hearing distance of them. The palpable unease of the situation beginning to overtake the arena altogether as the audience's chattering expressed their stirring unrest and agitated perplexity. Intermittent high-pitched whistles and the blares from the occasional horn smuggled into the arena echoed throughout served as auditory highlights from within the uncomfortable silence. Backstage personnel were already beginning to point accusatory fingers at eachother as to exactly who's to blame for losing track of one half of their opening matchup when suddenly...
The World Revolving
...A bedazzled celebration of shimmering colors overcame the monolithic screen and arena in general. Rainbowed chromacity showcasing every color underneath the spectrum albeit with pink being the predominant shade overtaking spotlights to the pulsating orchestral and electronic remix blaring from the speakers. Undeniably upbeat and boundless in its exuberantly joyous energy, reminiscent of the madcap theatricality underneath a big top circus with festive jubilation at its very core...albeit with a shade of devolving madness interwoven within it as well. The audience's boredom being summarily upended with their attention fixated upon the psychedelic presentation and the screen in particular with images of cotton candy, balloons, Ferris Wheels and other carnival themed iconography around the name "Trixie Hart" within its center. The identity of tonight's participant at the very least being made apparent. Although time passed as her theme continued onward with no sight of her at the top of the ramp. It was all clearly a ploy by personnel to entice Trixie make her appearance having gone awry...

"Sorry Mr. Yuzihara. If she doesn't appear soon, we'll have you declared the winner by default. I've never seen anything so unprofessional, have you?"


"Well I certainly haven’t. Who does this Trixie person think she is, anyhoo??!! Standing you up like that!!! Why if I were you I'd give her the Ol' One Two Razzamatazz!!! Biff, Bam, POW!!! STRAIGHT TO THE MOON!!!!"


Standing between both Aizen and the referee would be the pink-haired harlequin herself, cutely harrumphing and expressing just as much irritation as the guys. Gloved hands situated on her hips before emphasizing her punching sound effects with slugging fists swung mightily through the air and cartoonishly exaggerated.
???
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Last edited by killcarrion on Mon Nov 07, 2022 9:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: No Laughing Matter: Aizen Yuzuriha vs. ???

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And so, Aizen’s good mood was ruined.

Just as before, you would be hard pressed to know that, since he carried the same faultless grimace as usual, without any signs of wavering. He didn't like the term for it, but some said he had ‘resting bitch face’ - they never said that when they thought he could hear them, mind you. An unflattering term, but not wholly inaccurate, given the focus he tried to hold at all time, wanting to be ready for any fight at a moment’s notice, eager to meet all challenges.

But, sure enough, Aizen was, for lack of a better term, miffed by his opponent being a no-show. It wasn’t the first time someone had opted out of a fight with him, but on those rare occasions, it was a matter of a bad, unearned reputation preceding him, or someone who just wanted more time to train, or legitimate reasons. He had thought that LAW - a more organized, stable entity than the typical types who brought his unsanctioned matches together - would be above such nonsense. Finding out different was…disappointing.

But then the music came on. The lights. The glitz. The glamor. Aizen turned his head from side to side, taking it all in, trying to make sense of it. While he didn’t care too much about theme music, he recognized that it was, more often than not, a good way to gauge the presentation of the fighter it helped introduce. Trixie’s was jubilant and bouncy, sounding like something that belonged in the middle of a circus - or, at least, what Aizen imagined a circus would be like. An odd choice, but where was the woman who it belonged-

”What?”

Aizen jumped back and raised his fists as a third figure appeared in the ring, seemingly appearing from thin air. He had been on guard, trained himself to be ready on all sides, and she had still managed to slip around his senses…impressive. Though he wasn’t sure why she was here, or what she was doing, or why she wore such an extravagant, overblow outfit.

He intended to find out, though. ”Who are you?”

The referee just looked between the two of them, eyes shifting from side to side, before she found enough voice to speak up. ”I, uh…” She coughed. ”I think she’s your opponent. Ms. Hart, right?”
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Re: No Laughing Matter: Aizen Yuzuriha vs. ???

Unread post by killcarrion »

Demolishing the make-believe baddie's she was currently conjuring up with her pantomime punches tongue sticking out the side of her mouth, Trixie remained blissfully enveloped within her own sugar sparkled imagination while Aizen and the referee continued attempting to ascertain just who the heck she was. Tension backstage finally abating now that the clownette was present and accounted for. Lost though she apparently she was in her mind until overhearing the referee attempt to address her directly. Trixie balking in mid-windup to stand at attention, cutely gawking at him until a light bulb brightened up her smile after popping over head.

"OH!!! Wait a sec...I'm Trixie!!! Whoopsie Doodle!!! Sorry, I'm always get a lil' discombobulated after I wake up from a nap!!!"
Trixie cherubically smiled while pointing her thumb over her shoulder at the uplifted ring apron, the mystery as to her whereabouts finally uncovered as she was snoozing underneath the ring the entire time. "Some big shots tol' me that my performance was today and NOT to be late, so I figured what better place to rest up before the show starts than the place I'm spozed to be anyway!!!???" Exceptionally proud of her flawless logic, Trixie's beaming smile took a turn for upside-down town once she noticed Aizen and his perpetual glower.

"Yowie Wowie...why so glum chum?"
Trixie queried before adorably bounding towards Aizen, balancing on her tip toes to bring them nose to bulbous red nose. "You look more prickly than a porcupine who can't get a date!!! Even your hair looks angry...Oh, but don't worry!!! I know what'll turn that frown upside down!!!" Trix stepped back and unveiled two tube shaped balloons, swiftly blown up and in a spastic tornado of hand movements would be twisted and knotted together into a pink heart. Offered to Aizen with a wholesome smile~...although whenever approached, the balloons would go fluttering about to a hilarious sounding expulsion of gaseous noise. One of the deflated balloons flapping onto Aizen's head, the prank earning some chuckles from the referee beside them.
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Re: No Laughing Matter: Aizen Yuzuriha vs. ???

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Many assumed that, because Aizen didn’t talk much, he couldn’t talk. That he was some kind of silent dullard, a thug who only knew how to fight and couldn't string together a coherent sentence. This was far from the truth - yes, he was no great orator, but when called upon to do so he could talk well enough and even hold a decent conversation. The only trouble came from him simply not having all that much to say, most of the time. It might’ve been a cliche to say he talked with his fists, but it wasn’t inaccurate.

But that wasn’t the case here. For the first time he could ever remember, Aizen was well and truly speechless at the display before him.

This was his opponent? This? He had fought some colorful characters in his time, seen almost every style of fighting imaginable, but this was something so far out of his realm of experience that he wasn’t even sure how to properly categorize it. He looked on and stayed still, unblinking even as she presented him with a twisted balloon heart - one that he reached out and touched, simply because he didn’t know what else to do. And the thing just burst out and flopped on his face, leaving it deflated, right over his eye.

How was he supposed to respond to that? How was anyone?

When in doubt, resort to violence. ”I’m just going to start hitting you, now.” He backed off and tightened his fists, moving into a proper guard. ”I don’t know when I’ll stop.”

Aizen said it and meant it, too - the moment the bell rang, he lunged forward and threw a hard right straight, aiming at Trixie’s face. Nothing fancy, nothing spectacular. He just wanted to knock her out quick and bring this to a close before either her body or his dignity took serious damage.
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Re: No Laughing Matter: Aizen Yuzuriha vs. ???

Unread post by killcarrion »

What good was a clownette who couldn't spread mirth and merriment to even the most sullen of sulkers? Crankiest of curmudgeons? Prickliest of porcupines? Why Trixie's playmate for the evening looked like he couldn't crack a smile even if you gave him a hammer and chisel.Well never fear, because the Jubilant Pinkette is here~...Trix already being on the case with one of her patented trick balloon gags and succinctly forgetting what they were supposed to be doing in the first place. Brightening up Aizen's day becoming of paramount importance for the time being, and seemingly succeeded as her wacky balloons antics went off without a hitch. Trixie gleefully clapping as her and the referee shared in a merry chuckle...but the clown-girl gawked at how Aizen's granite composure remained unchanged!!! Unfazed!!! Unamused!!! Underwear!!!

"WHAAA??? Not even one teeny tiney smile??? Holey Guacomole, you must have one dry sense of humor..."
Trixie cutely pouted with both hands situated on her waistline, apparently oblivious as to the impending wrath on the cusp of being unleashed upon her as Aizen backpedaled. "Wait a second. Dry sense of humor? AH, I got just the thing!!!" Trixie perking up with an elated smile after coming across some manner of epiphany as a dim-watted light bulb flickered over her noggin. She immediately plunged her gloved hand betwixt her buoyant cleavage and started searching throughout the insides of her skimpy skirt, eyes averted to the ceiling and tongue sticking out the side of her mouth as she fidgeted around through there. Seconds away from having her clown nose decked, except Trixie would reveal her seltzer bottle and spray Aizen in the face with a gusher of water. Drenching the prickly fighter and the floor beneath his feet!!!
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Re: No Laughing Matter: Aizen Yuzuriha vs. ???

Unread post by BlackAkuma »

Aizen wasn’t completely dense, here. He had some idea of what he was dealing with, having faced opponents who used theatricality for distractions. Flourishes, taunts, cheap tricks - he’d come across a wide range of strange and unorthodox tactics. Some were effective, some were less so, but he’d learned to sift through them and strike at the heart of the matter.

Trixie - if that was, in fact, her name - was leaning into it all far more than anyone he’d ever encountered, though, and it was enough to put him in unfamiliar territory. In Aizen’s experience, the best thing to do in such situations was to strike hard and sort things out later.

That was his philosophy as he came in to strike Trixie, looking to take her down before she could do whatever it was she was aiming to do, and he thought it was a good one, right up until the moment where he spritzed in the face.

It might’ve seemed like a small, trifling thing to get taken off by, and it wasn’t like it hurt all that much, but it was definitely the last thing he was expecting, even in a match like this, where weapons were allowed. Aizen made a spurting cry and went staggering back with arms flailing, wholly shocked, and nearly wound up slipping along the slicked canvas. He made to stay standing, but needed a few seconds to clear his eyes and spit out the excess water - even he had to gather his bearing after something like that.
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Re: No Laughing Matter: Aizen Yuzuriha vs. ???

Unread post by killcarrion »

Any clowning comedian or wand-waving magician worth their salt knows better than to divulge the secrets behind any of their tricks, even under threat of being sent to dreaded clown prison. And it's best that no-one inquire as to how Trixie was capable of concealing a fully filled water seltzer bottle within her frilly pink outfit up till now. Some universal mysteries are best left to the mortal man's imagination...and besides, where's the fun in knowing the how? Especially when it has results this flippin' hilarious. The Jolly Jester smiling joyously all throughout her water spritzing shenanigans until the bottle was thoroughly emptied, thinking she really scored an ace in the hole with that clever little bit of wordplay and the water-logged punchline. Pleased as punch until she'd get an elbowed nudge from the referee, clearing his throat and head motioning in Aizen's direction.

"Dyoooo, alright. Party pooper..." Trixie flippantly flipping her emptied water to bonk off the official's head, reminding her that this was still supposed to at least resemble something akin to an actual wrestling match. The harlequin was having so much fun with Aizen that she'd forgotten all about the particulars of the contract she signed in rainbow colored ink. "Okay, time to roll up my non-existent sleeves, snap my tight suspenders..."...*snap*..."...ouch...and get down to business!!" Trix apparently buckling herself down to get serious with a scowling snarl, except her first emphatic foot forward would be her slipping off the puddled flooring!! Frantically flailing her arms in a madcap propulsion towards Aizen, the clownette hunched over in what would end up becoming an accidental though nevertheless expertly applied spear into the blinded martial artist's midsection.
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Re: No Laughing Matter: Aizen Yuzuriha vs. ???

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A counter done with a bottle of seltzer water sprayed in the face.

This was a first. This was definitely a first. And an effective one, as it turned out.

Aizen grunted and groaned as he wiped his face clean, more mad at himself for failing for that than her for trying it in the first place. While he never engaged in such tactics, he couldn't discount their efficacy. One couldn't complain about anything going in an anything goes match, after all. The fault was on him for not being properly prepared.

But he was now. Unquestionably. She hadn't take the opportunity to attack him while he was blinded, for whatever reason, but he had no qualms in showing her why that was a mistake. He moved in as she came his way, drew back him arm for a straight that would’ve leveled her, and…

…wound up getting nearly getting split in half by a spear.

It was hard to say what stunned him more, the move itself or the fact that she pulled it off in the first place. He hadn't seen it coming, so it caught him wholly off guard, and the insane impact knocked the wind clean out of him. It wasn’t the first time he’d been speared, but he couldn't recall ever taking one so forceful. Having his innards pulverized was doing wonders for his memory. It left him rolling on the floor, and all he could do was make a quick crawl to the corner and use the pads for support as he rose back to his feet.
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Re: No Laughing Matter: Aizen Yuzuriha vs. ???

Unread post by killcarrion »

Trixie knew she wanted her grand debut to be a big splash with the audience, but this was ridiculous!!! Where'd that giant puddle of water come from?! Whoever the competitors were before them must've neglected to clean up after themselves, she figured. Sheesh, you'd think a wrestling organization as fancy schmancy as LAW could at least afford to hire a decent janitorial crew or sumthin. How was Trixie supposed to produce a respectable performance under these unprofessional conditions?! Why she had half a mind to march into the GM's office and lodge a formal complaint...just as she found out where her boss' office is. And who they are. And remembers what she wanted to talk to them about in the first place. Trixie saddling up from the drenched canvas in a seated position with her legs split, brains a little scrambled, and clothes soaked.

Trix then curiously noticing Aizen scrambling off towards a corner turnbuckle. The Madcap Harlequin perking up and taking notice of this prime positioning as she water slid towards him in zany pursuit, the taciturn fighter being greeted with Trixie pouncing upon him whenever he turned around to face the ring. Her clown shoes tucked against his abdomen and her gloved hands clasped around the back of his neck, a honking sound from her bright red nose smushed against his. "Phew!! Well I dunno about you, but I am just soaking wet right now~...But you don't gotta worry though!! I've had puh-lenty of partners and have never failed in getting each one of them off no problemo~..." Trixie's pixie smile shining brightly...before attempting to buck herself backward and shoot Aizen up and over in a topsy turvy monkey flip.
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