Break the LAW Podcast: Episode 1

[PrincessBlair]

(I would love to see your character's reaction to the podcast, especially if you were mentioned in the episode. Feel free to reply to this thread with your characters thoughts, and if they want an interview PM me here or on discord.)

Intro Song

Hasebe: Good Day! Everyone and welcome to Break the LAW! The official LAW Podcast! Broadcasting from our gorgeous new studio, I am your host, Hasebe Kazumi, and here with me is my beautiful co-host…
Mami: Mami Shimada…
Hasebe: And remember if you subscribe to LAW World for access to all LAW matches: including hentai matches, PPVs, and other Special Events. You get all of this for a low price of 2,000 yen per month. But most importantly you get access to live camera feed for the Break the LAW podcast!
Mami: You haven’t experienced the Break the LAW podcast, until you see our pretty faces yapping at you.
Hasebe: Say… We got a fine show today. We have 3 matches that we will be reviewing. But first, let us tell you a bit more about ourselves. Mami! Do you have anything else to say for yourself?
Mami: Umm… Yeah. *sniff sniff*
Hasebe: Is something wrong Mami?
Mami: Yeah… *sniff sniff* something stinks in here…
Hasebe: Well it’s not me! I shower, use shampoo, and put on perfume every day.
Mami: No… You always smell so nice Hasebe. *sniff sniff* No… it’s coming from elsewhere.
Hasebe: This studio is brand new! How can there be something stinky in here already?! I do not smell anything; you have a very sensitive nose, Mami.
Mami: *sniff sniff* Yes I do… We should just go on with the show… Maybe I’ll find it as we continue.
Hasebe: Well… I think it’s time for us to take a quick commercial break. Remember if don’t want to suffer though ad after ad, subscribe to LAW World for ad less content, including this show’s live feed!

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Hasebe: And we are back! And we have to first match to review. What match will that be Mami?
Mami: Rose Gold vs Kindy Stardust…
Hasebe: Aw… Yes… This match. What did you think Mami?
Mami: She’s so bad…
Hasebe: Who’s bad?
Mami: She’s so bad…
Hasebe: Who is, Mami? Who is bad?
Mami: Kindy Stardust, Hasebe!
Hasebe: What?! Kindy Stardust?! The goofy space girl?! She’s bad?! How could that be?!
Mami: Probably because she can’t wrestle…
Hasebe: It takes more than being funded by a billionaire to be good at wrestling… Imagine that! So let’s go through this match point by point, it’s a short one. So happens first Mami?
Mami: Kindy Stardust drop kicks Rose Gold… It’s the only hit she lands in the entire match.
Hasebe: Didn’t do much for her, huh!
Mami: Yeah… She let her opponent get up…
Hasebe: Never let your opponent get up! Idiot! What happens next?
Mami: Well… Rose Gold proceeds to land 3 knees to Kindy’s crotch…
Hasebe: Three knees to the crotch! Is Space Girl even trying to fight back?!
Mami: No… Looked to me like she was trying to get a hug…
Hasebe: Why would somebody hug their opponent in the middle of a match, Mami?
Mami: I don’t know… Because she’s stupid…
Hasebe: Yes! Of course! So what happens after that?
Mami: Rose Gold puts Kindy over her knee and spanks her ass… Then finger fucks her until Dumb Space Girl passes out… Match over.
Hasebe: Pathetic! What a pitiful match!
Mami: You know… This match was a while ago…
Hasebe: Yeah and?
Mami: Has anyone heard from Kindy Stardust since?... She like… disappeared.
Hasebe: I would too, if I lost a match this embarrassingly bad! Go back to drawing your stupid manga, MORON! Leaving wrestling to the professionals!
Mami: We haven’t talked about Rose Gold at all…
Hasebe: What’s there to talk about? Congratulations Rose Gold! You defeated the LAW equivalent of a ten year old girl, playing space man on the playground! Can we get a round of applause of Rose Gold, for defeating the most pathetic wrestler on the roster?!
Both: *unenthusiastic claps*
Hasebe: If you ever want to fight a real opponent, Rosey, call us! We’ll kick your ass!
Mami: We are so strong… LAW won’t let us fight… Because we would destroy everyone else…
Hasebe: That is why we here, reviewing your sorry matches! Anyways, there is more crap matches to come, right after this ad break. And if you don’t want to see ad breaks… Subscribe to LAW World!
Mami: Do it… It’s cool… *sniff sniff* By the way… something still stinks in here…

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Hasebe: We are back! And with another match! An older match… But surely a good one…
Both: *chuckle*
Hasebe: This one is a bit longer than the last match, but it’s Kyoko Akan vs Eirina Makishima for the… umm… Belly Queen Title? Mami… What’s the Belly Queen title?
Mami: I don’t know… But I want it…
Hasebe: You want this made-up title?
Mami: Yeah… I want to take the belt and hang it up in the studio… Save the world from suffering this embarrassment ever again…
Hasebe: Good plan, Mami!
Mami: We can qualify for this belt… Look at this…
Hasebe: You can’t see unless you subscribe to LAW World and watch the live feed of the Break the LAW podcast, but Mami is pulling up her sweater and shirt to reveal her belly to the subscribers! Nice belly you got there, Mami! Defiantly Belly Queen material!
Mami: Thank you Hasebe… Yours is not bad either… Want to show the people…
Hasebe: Maybe some other time… But I’m also Belly Queen material. So do you here that! Kyoko Akan… or… Whoever holds the stupid Belly Queen title at the moment! We’ll challenge you for that belt!
Mami: We will so win… Easy…
Hasebe: Let’s talk a bit about “The Belly Queen’s” opponent here. Dr. Eirina Makishima!
Mami: What field of medicine was she in?... Leech Therapy?
Hasebe: I don’t think doctors have used leeches in over a hundred years, Mami.
Mami:… How else would you explain how much she sucks?
Hasebe: Ahh… Come on, Mami. She wasn’t that bad! She use to be the Hentai Champion, you know.
Mami: Yeah… Use to be… But she lost… Because she sucks… If this is what a Hentai Champion looks like, we can so be Hentai Champions…
Hasebe: I mean… I’m down for it. Get in connect with us Hentai Champion! We’ll take you down! Anyways… Let’s talk about the match here. Since this is a bit of longer match, especially compared to the last match we looked at, we won’t doing a play-by-play. So, Mami… How does this match work?
Mami: Fuck if I know, Hasebe… I think something about hitting the opponent in the belly… and then fucking or something… They punched either other in the stomach and molested each other the whole time…
Hasebe: Yeah… Pretty much.
Mami: Anyways… Eirina lost like the loser she is… *sniff… sniff…* Something still stinks… I’m going to find what is before the day is done…
Hasebe: And Kyoko held on to her title of the “Bell Queen Champion” or… whatever… Time for a commercial break! Subscribe to LAW WORLD!

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Hasebe: And we are back for one last match review. What to jump right into it Mami?
Mami: *sniff sniff* yeah… let’s get it over with…
Hasebe: Ok… The next match the Heartbrea…
Mami: EWW! GAH!
Hasebe: Mami! What is it?! What’s wrong?!
Mami: I found what stinks, Hasebe…
Hasebe: What is it?
Mami: The Heartbreakers… They stink!
Hasebe: I feel you, Mami. They do stink!
Mami: Do we have to talk about this match?
Hasebe: It’s our job… I guess… Why don’t we feel the listeners in to our relationship to the Heartbreakers. Maybe that will fill enough time so that we can end show, and not talk about how bad of wrestlers they are.
Mami: Ok… You can talk…
Hasebe: Alright… We went to school with two of the Heartbreakers, Kyoko and Misako!
Mami: They were stupid nerds then… They are stupid nerds now…
Hasebe: They were so jealous of how popular and cool, Mami and I are. They kept trying to steal our boyfriends. And they would surprise attack us.
Mami: Luckily, we were always strong enough to beat those losers back to the holes they live under.
Hasebe: You know what, Mami… I’m happy for them.
Mami: What? Really…
Hasebe: Yeah… They finally found their calling, being some other girl’s bitches.
Mami: Tch… right… That Sachiko chick seems cool…
Hasebe: Kyoko and Masako where always bottom bitches. They were never tops, like us!
Mami: Yeah… It makes me happy to know that somebody was able to put them in their place.
Hasebe: Yeah. Call us for an interview sometime Sachiko. We have questions for you.
Mami: Just leave the two losers at the door, thank you… We don’t need to stick up the new studio with their presence.
Hasebe: Anyways… That is for our show. If you have any match suggest for us to review or if you are a wrestler wanting come on the show for an interview, e-mail us at mamihasebe@lawwresting.com (Not a real email - PM PrincessBlair). And don’t forget. Subscribe to LAW World for all access pass to any match you want, and to view the Break the LAW show live video feed. We’ll see you next time…
Mami: Bye…

[SimplePride]

Isaiah Bowen:"...Well, that was certainly something...