Let the Squeaky Hammer Swing: Bridgette Tanuki (D) vs Shimmerlace Snuggleblossom

[Malkavia]

Standard match, no disqualifications

When the truth is found–to be lies!

Spotlights settled on an empty entrance ramp while Jefferson Airplanes crooned to the crowd. A sound began to rise, low, then higher, and louder—crackling, like a burnt log collapsing. Sparks erupted in the air, pink and red and violet, bright as gunpowder and twice as smoky and then…pop! A spray of bubbles fly every which way, and where Shimmerlace wasn't—there she was. Surveying her audience with a magician’s crooked smile.

The Seelie Maître

“Cunts! And cuntesses of the eastern hemisphere! Welcome to the fuckin’ show.” She made her way down the ramp, waving with one arm as her eyes shifted from one audience member to the next. Alas—though they were still few in number, she spied a greater proportion of pink-head “coterists” than usual in this batch. A bad sign if ever there was one, but she kept her smile bright (if lazy) in spite of them. As she reached the ring, she hopped ropeside and clambered to the top of her ring-post. She settled in, shifted her seat until it was comfy, then... Back to the crowd.

“Now per the normal procedure, I'd have here for you some weave or scent of my opponent—a foretelling of Seelie art on what manner of threat face we today! But…” A shadow fell over Shimmerlace’s face, and her smile darkened and fell away. “...On this day, my arts failed us. Every peer I took past yonder hedgewise curtain showed nought but emptiness, an identity hidden in fog enwrapping a shadow-thick enigma…” A débutent with the wherewithal and skill to keep her online presence remarkably bare. “Need I tell you what such shite portends?”

The Feychild crossed her bare, pale legs and leaned out at the crowd, her long pink hair hanging down her shoulders as if even it wanted to hold in this secret. But her pink eyes shown bright as the grin returned. “It means, dear wee dunder-headed fucks mine, that that!” She pointed down the runway towards this mysterious opponent. “Is a master of shadow! A paragon of deception and secrets. That what we face today is no mere run of the mill opponent, but a true villain! And even one with powers such as I know not what darkness may come. So…” here Shimmerlace stood, taking her perch on the third rope. It was a shot in the dark. The opponent could be anyone, really. But you gotta commit if you're gonna sell them on anything. “Take your hearts in hand, ye pure of heart in the stands, as we bring this monster justice!”

And as she clasped her hand to hammer in this last point, she hopped to the mat.

[ScoutLils]

The arena would begin to fill with a purplish blue fog. While no one was paying any attention to equipment with Shimmerlace’s hyped introduction, Bridgette felt she ought to play up her part. The lights dimmed as a faint silhouette can barely be made out in such a thick patch of smoke. As it bled down the ramp per intentions, the shadow would disappear as of it were never there.

Her theme was no where to be found as the murmurs of the crowd filled the arena, calculating all of this took a couple weeks of planning as well as constant trial and error. Everything seemed to go as the Tanuki had sought out to accomplish, the smoke began to whip and whisp as she darted through it. Almost like an apex predator swiftly farting through brush for prey, the Tanuki makes her appearance, launching herself from all fours, she’d follow through with tucking in her legs to make a ball.

Spoiler

Bridgette would roll once, twice, and just as she was about to make a third roll, her boots catch the ramp and push upward, springing the Tanuki up a solid foot from the ground with the ramps help of course. “Keekeekeee, Is someone praising me? The Great Bridgette Tanuki? Well, they’ve got good taste.” She declares her gaze meeting the pink fey seated in the ring just asking for a face full of banana cream pie. “Keekeekee, Ohhh, I get it. You’re challenging me, aren’t cha? That’s a bad move, provoking a good hearted Tanuki like me.” There was nothing good hearted about this woman…except for her pure innocent love of Tanuki’s.

She’d head down the small patch of ramp left to her, a normal person would’ve gone for the steps to enter but not Bridgette. Instead, she’d give herself a running start, dashing towards the ring in a short burst of speed before she jumps, straightening out her body as she dives under the bottom rope to slip into the ring. “Wheeeee!” She shouts as she slides along the canvas for a good second before her leotard and the mat stop from the friction.

Her large purple shaded tail hung down behind her backside, her toys and instruments of mayhem laid in wait for the oppurtunity to be used in her victim. She was already thinking of how to play up her role, rather intrigued with the pinkette’s decree. “I hope you’re ready because this Tanuki is about to take you around town, baby. I guarantee the last thing you’ll see is a fluff bomb in your dreams~.”= She’d tease, turning sharply to show off her tail and giving her rather curvy rump and quick smack to emphasize. Her tail swings with the idle sway before turning back sharply to head to her corner. She wasn’t certain of it but she felt something was maybe a bit off. Bridgette had to wonder if she was getting a bit in over her head but swiftly put that notion to bed. She was probably overthinking it.

[Malkavia]

Not many people would have been watching Shimmerlace during this entrance—and rightly so. The choreography, staging, delivery…fuck. The roll and LEAP down center stage alone personified the word spectacle and earned every delighted shout and whistle from the audience.Any numb-nut looking anywhere but at Bridgette ought to have their head examined.

But had anyone been watching the Feychild, they'd have seen her face break into a grin. Wheeeee!... fuck, fuck, fuuuuuck. There was nothing to do but chuckle and shake her head and bite her tongue. She leaned against the ring post, arms crossed. The more she heard, the more she saw, the more her eyes glittered. Here seemed to be, fuckin’ finally, the kind of opponent shed dreamed of since she first put ink to her contract at LAW.

Let’s hope she lives up to her promise.

DING DING DING!!

The bell announced the start to the match, but Shimmer lifted a hand…wait...And cut in. ”A tanuki spirit…! Well. Fuck me sideways. Aye, I see it now—tail on your rump, ears from your head. Trickster spirit, and shapeshifter to boot. Half woman, half beast.”

A shiver and roll of her fingers (and a toss from a hidden pocket), and her old-standby sleight of hand saw an apple materialize in her palm. If the tanuki gave her the time, she'd take a bite. Crunch.

Then she'd raise an eyebrow, meet her opponent’s eye, and offer a slight bend at her neck. A bow. ”But, trickster’s not quite evil then, is it? Seems I may have…jumped a stone too far in my judgment.” And the Feychild would extend her hand and an apple-filled grin to match. ”Will ye shake, fellow spirit, to a contest between two pure-hearted guardians of springtime glee?”

[ScoutLils]

An ovation like this wasn’t something Bridgette had contemplated happening when she came out. She expected…well not this. The Tanuki obsessed woman’s brain began to think, wracking so explanation to the rather pleasant display of affection she was receiving. Perhaps people were starting to realize her genius, a dream she longed for but perhaps was too soon to really believe. Her brain cells decide to shelf the thought, picking up each other with said thought to the top shelf. She could figure it out later.

Instead her focus was on the feychild, grinning like the Mad Hatter. She couldn’t explain why but she felt a kinship to the grin, a sense of eerie satisfaction almost as if she was in on the joke too. Bridgette was hungry for entertainment, to have her genius recognized and to be in the ring with someone so close yet so devilishly far, it was almost too good to be true. Her violets observes the woman’s build, inspecting her movements just as she would any math equation she came across.

She was all but to lay into her opponent as soon as the bell rang out but Shimmerlace had a different idea in mind. The Tanuki’s stance which shifted to flow right into offense, softened as they began to speak. Were they testing her?

Bridgette would grin in spite of what she could only assume to be mocking banter. She leans forward eyeing the apple before her gaze shifts back to the pinkette.

”The one and only, I’d say I’m a step above your run of the mill spirit, I’m much more than that.” The trickster began, inching closer, her platinum boots bringing her closer to the unsuspecting fey, unbenoucned to her, potentially falling for a trap of their own design. The apple seemingly appearing out of thin air, surprised the Tanuki but she was enthralled with the theatrics, Charles by their clever ploy. It made the Tanuki sneer, a performance was only as good as it’s actors and her part would be just perfect.

She’d inch closer as they took a bite, bowing for her in some respect but Bridgette only stalked, unwavering in her conviction to do what she knew had to be done. ”Evil comes in all shades, Feychild, a powerful spirit like me can turn the most harmless of pranks into a disaster, I’d love to show you…” Her invitation was almost sinister in a way as she outstretched her hand to take her rivals but all the while she was working on her own machinations of chaos. While she snuck closer, leaning in and invading their space, her left hand had been undoing the latches on her tail. The pocket was a fair sized indention but well worth it, inside, she kept a cooles banana crème pie, the top layer covered in plastic wrap. She was lucky to have such a enthusiast opponent, one who could talk long enough to give her a moment to remove said protective covering and slowly slip it out of the hidden pocket.

The Tanuki’s grip was locked like a Vice, she wouldn’t let the fey escape her clutches especially when a special delievery was on its way~.

[Malkavia]

Evil comes in all shades—Shimmerlace cocked her head at that. She'd often heard it said that some villain or other's smile didn't reach their eyes. No description could be more wrong of Shimmerlace. Her grin glittered in the shaded sparkle of her pink eyes, in the sway of her roseate hair. The closer Tanuki came and the more she talked, the more something bright and glittering seemed to build just behind the Maitre's face. When she heard the word Feychild, she took Tanuki's hand and shook.

Then, two things happened at the same time.

Tanuki squeezed her hand so hard it popped. A sharp shock of pain shot up her wrist, which made the Feychild cackle—a mistake, as it turned out, given what soon followed. The Tanuki tail, it seemed, was a repository of all manner of mischief, and tonight that mischief took the form of a pie. A cream pie. Something that might have looked sweet, even homely on a kitchen countertop. But evil comes in all shades, and when this went splat into Shimmerlace's face, she tasted the pie, and it burned. Capsaicin. She'd know it anywhere from as much time as she'd spent experimenting with this chili pepper compound, but familiarity did little to comfort her rapidly swelling mouth, nostrils and eyes.

But two things had been happening, and the second was that Shimmerlace was turning an apple into a flower. A quick flick was all it took, and the crunch-scarred fruit flipped into a long gleaming pink rose. By the time the SPLAT hit Shimmer's face, she had that rose pointed in Tanuki's face. When she'd taste capsaicin, she'd cringe, shudder—and squeeze the stem of this rose to produce a POOF, which would blow a shock of pink powder in what a now-blind Feychild hoped was her opponent's direction.

Avenged or no, though, she was in a state. Her hand clamped in agony on Tanuki's, and she gave a sound somewhere between a growl and a squeal. She dropped the rose and clawed at her face with her free hand. "NNNNGFFFFUCKIN'...petal-plastered piss-pot on a FUCKIN'...FUCK!"

[ScoutLils]

Shimmer seemed none the wiser, maybe not yet but as soon as the Tanuki woman squeezed, it was like it clicked for them. The two only gleamed and snickered to one another, unaware of what both of them have planned for each other. Of course Bridgette would be the first to strike, the Tanuki’s games were already being played and the feychild was an (un)willing participant. During their breif exchange, the tail pocket pie was ready to be deployed, Bridgette didn’t give any indication as to what she was planning but then again, unbeknownst to her, it seemed Shimmerlace had the same idea as an apple was suddenly presented to her. The Filipino-American was startled by the fruit but it only played to her machinations as she instinctively threw the cream pie full of spicey capcaisin right into the visage of her rival.

At the same time, while the okie was thoroughly on its way towards impact, the apple suddenly formed into a flower, catching the Tanuki’s curiosity with the possibility of wild magic. With her prank pulled off it ignited Shinmer’s own prank and sprayed the bandit faced woman’s eyes, filing her nostrils with a puff of pink powder. She’d cough, swiping the vast of nothingness to the clear the air of the harmful substance. Her eyes shut closed as she rubs her face to wipe out any of the powders residue, coughing as Shinmer managed to startle her again and cause her to breath some of it in.

”Dammit! Fuck! My fucking EYES!” She roars.her vision somewhat returning by now clouded by tears attempting to cry out the feychild “magic”.

With a sharp turn, the Tanuki turned her back to the feychild, who was having her own fit from the dose of irritating spices now swelling her senses. Her tail, somewhat heavy with her toys, swings out wide, Bridgette wasn’t even going on the offensive however, if Shinmer wasn’t back to her senses in time, she’d get smacked in the cranium by one of the Tanuki’s deadliest weapons: her tail. The stitches appendage swinging with some force with her turn and homing in, waiting for a unwilling victim, almost like it had come to life in an attempt to strike the first blow.