L.A.W. - League of Anime Wrestling

Noob wrote: ↑

Tue Oct 06, 2020 11:08 am

Alright now that that's out of the way, a legit question about my writing. I know I use the same sentence structure a ton, particularly the following format where I just kinda add a bunch of stuff with that comma, sometimes relevant and sometimes perhaps not flowing a much as it should. I was just wondering if stuff like using the same structure over and over again ever bothered people to read.
stuff like this:
"The redhead would fall into the ropes rather ungracefully and face first, barely catching herself against them."

Also I was curious about people's thoughts on continually starting a paragraph with a character's name. Just another one of the many things im a bit self conscious of stylistically and was wondering if it bothered people to read / if there's a good trick to not wanting to do that other than "Just don't do it."

On the first point, I'd probably say you could trim off the part after the comma. Or maybe to make a better flowing one try...
"The redhead could barely catch herself as she hit the ropes, ungracefully tumbling onto the ropes and fell face first." Or something I dunno, I couldn't really imagine what the idea was in the first place but that's what I interpreted from your sentence.

And the next point. I personally don't have any problem on reading a paragraph starting with a character's name, I'm aware I've done this quite a lot. Though, if there's any trick on avoiding writing that as the first word in the paragraph, perhaps try writing an opening sentence regarding the situation revolving around the characters but not directly pointing at them. Example would be uh, crowd reaction, describing what would the character felt at the current situation. Something like...
"The crowd roars wildly after that huge feat of strength she pulled."
"It was certainly a moment that she wanted to forget in her career."
"The tempo of the match doesn't look like it was going on her favor right now."

Kinda curious if anyone has any critique on my writing.

I do have a question that's more specific, but I'm curious. Is there anyone here who knows more about Muay Thai who'd be willing to give any feedback as to how I write it in Blair's threads? I'm not as familiar with the style as I am with wrestling, and while I have been researching it I want to make sure her techniques are realistic and make sense for a Muay Thai fighter to use.

CaptainL wrote: ↑

Sun Nov 22, 2020 6:45 pm

I do have a question that's more specific, but I'm curious. Is there anyone here who knows more about Muay Thai who'd be willing to give any feedback as to how I write it in Blair's threads? I'm not as familiar with the style as I am with wrestling, and while I have been researching it I want to make sure her techniques are realistic and make sense for a Muay Thai fighter to use.

I do practice it but I am not an expert and only do it for the fun of it. I could try to give you feedback but I am not compeltly sure about the quality of my feedback but it could be enough for your prupose maybe.

CaptainL wrote: ↑

Sun Nov 22, 2020 6:45 pm

I do have a question that's more specific, but I'm curious. Is there anyone here who knows more about Muay Thai who'd be willing to give any feedback as to how I write it in Blair's threads? I'm not as familiar with the style as I am with wrestling, and while I have been researching it I want to make sure her techniques are realistic and make sense for a Muay Thai fighter to use.

[mention]CaptainL[/mention]
Hey Captain I do practice some Martial arts my primary ones are Judo, Jiujitsu and Aikido. With regards to Muay Thai I did learn it but my size doesn't allow me to be as effective with this fighting style but with regards to RPing I can help you out in terms of how a Muay Thai fighter tends to move and what not. I'm assuming your gal has steel shins and elbows right?

Alright, now that I think I've improved my RPing, I would like to try this again. Anything for the great WE ARE?

Rougue wrote: ↑

Sun Nov 22, 2020 7:04 pm

I do practice it but I am not an expert and only do it for the fun of it. I could try to give you feedback but I am not compeltly sure about the quality of my feedback but it could be enough for your prupose maybe.

Lilan9958 wrote: ↑

Tue Nov 24, 2020 8:29 pm

@CaptainL
Hey Captain I do practice some Martial arts my primary ones are Judo, Jiujitsu and Aikido. With regards to Muay Thai I did learn it but my size doesn't allow me to be as effective with this fighting style but with regards to RPing I can help you out in terms of how a Muay Thai fighter tends to move and what not. I'm assuming your gal has steel shins and elbows right?

Pretty much, yeah My main question would be if anyone would like to look at how I've written her thus far, in her two threads, and tell me if I'm writing her style accurately.

EDITED:

This is a global criticism: If you only do FvF matches, you are severely limiting yourself as far as creativity. Also, if you are going to retire a character, DELETE THEIR PAGE!

Why delete? Just specify on the character's page that they're no longer in use. I think it's better to keep a trace of all the characters that were involved in LAW instead of erasing them from history.

As for FvF only, it's more a "to each their own" thing than a matter of creativity. It's like saying that if you don't do smother/hentai/hardcore/whatever matches, or if you don't have at least a heavyweight, a lightweight, a middleweight and a tag team you are severely limiting yourself. People have preferences and it has nothing to do with a lack of creativity on their part.

SimplePride wrote: ↑

Fri May 07, 2021 2:16 am

This is a global criticism: If you only do FvF matches, you are severely limiting yourself as far as creativity.

I'd honestly like to hear your reasoning behind this, if you don't mind.