No Laughing Matter: Aizen Yuzuriha vs. ???

[BlackAkuma]

Someone was laughing.

Aizen didn’t consider himself a prideful man - quite the opposite, in fact. He made no effort to show off or play up his skills for the crowd. He wasn’t deaf, he could hear them cheering him on and booing him, but unlike others in wrestling, he tried to tune that noise out instead of riding the wave. Focus on the fight. Nothing else mattered.

But he would be lying if he said he wasn’t just a little peeved that someone in the audience was getting a kick out of watching him get waylaid by what amounted to a pratfall.

The wind was well and truly knocked out of him, but he was still far from done. He made his way up, wiping his face and breathing deep all the way. Clear the lungs, resume natural breathing. Reset, and…

”Huh-”

Trixie was in face. Right in his face. Just out of nowhere, the distance was closed and she was grabbing him by the neck, holding him tight. His body lurched forward and he narrowly fell, only able to reclaim his balance with a well placed foot. An awkward, aloof position, and one that wouldn’t last for too long.

In the next moment, Aizen was sent hurtling across the ring, launched with the full force of Trixie’s monkey flip. It wasn’t the most damaging move in wrestling by any means, but she gained some impressive height with it all the same, enough to put him down with a hard crash. It left his spine tingling, and all he could do was roll forward to his hands and knees as he tried to come to grips with the pain.

[killcarrion]

Someone was laughing...this is great!!! Nothing dampens a clowns brightened mood worse than abject silence from a comatose audience. It looks like Trixie may not need to resort to her "A" material after all, which was quite convenient since she'd forgotten her custard cream pie back underneath the ring. At least she thinks she did. Trixie was having too much fun playing around with her spiky haired porcupine friend to double check at the moment. The dynamic duo making for quite the perfect pairing as the Pugnacious Punkette playfully bopped noses with Aizen back in the corner turnbuckle and assuaged any worries them may not be able to pull their act before executing some aerial acrobatics by flipping the martial artist splat onto the middle of the ring.

"Phew, tad heavier than I figured but it sounds like we've got the crowd eating outta the palm of our hand!!! Now for somthin' flashy to put a bow on it~..." Trixie remarked while gazing at an upside-down Aizen across the ring considering she was still hunched over herself after the flip, righting her vision by toppling to the side and standing back on her clown shoes. Waiting for Aizen to be standing with a lurch to his posture before Trixie swiftly seated herself atop his back as if she were riding a horse the wrong way. The jubilant clownette waving to the audience merrily before ducking herself down and and pivoting Aizen backwards into a sunset flip powerbomb that splattered her spiky partner onto the puddled canvas, topped off with a pin attempt to boot!!!

"1!"

[BlackAkuma]

Aizen liked to think of himself as a calm man. A patient man. Disciplined, direct, dedicated. His career as a fighter had been built on discipline and focus, tuning out the rest of the world while he honed his body and mind. In order to be the best, he had to exorcize himself from all distractions.

But damned if Trixie wasn’t starting to annoy him.

It wasn’t just that he was off to a poor start. He’d been on the backfoot in fights before, it was an inevitability, he could deal with that. No, it was the fact he’d gotten this way by essentially slipping on a banana peel, falling for Trixie’s pratfalls again and again. While he had little patience for the slapstick, he had to concede that it was working, and that was the worst thing of all.

He pushed up, despite being a tad offkilter from the throw, determined to change fate back in his favor, only for Trixie to come and launched over his body in admittedly impressive maneuver. There was no stopping her momentum, he knew this move well. He was going to go down. But that didn’t mean he would stay down.

Instead of fighting the sunset flip, Aizen threw himself back and rolled with it, added force to the move. When fell to his back, he threw his legs up and flipped off his shoulders, using the momentum to break free of her grasp and come up to his feet in one deft move. A counter that saw him standing while she sat before him. Perfect.

Aizen hopped back, raised his leg for a vicious knee aimed straight at her face, rushed forward, and…

…and promptly slipped on the puddle her seltzer had created a few moments ago, falling flat on her back and banging his head on the mat for good measure. He laid there, grasping his skull and kicking his legs, groaning for a multitude of reasons.

[killcarrion]

Acrobatic lunacy always was Trixie's claim to fame~...A balancing trapeze act second to none with straight A's earned in every course of Clown College. Although she obviously needed to credit her capable partner here of being so efficiently athletic and capable of positioning himself perfectly for whatever madcap hijinks spring to Trixie's cartoonish mind at any given minute. The pinkette seemingly perpetrating her forward pitched barrel rolling upon Aizen's stout back easy peezy lemon squeezy as the audience looked on in popcorn eating wonderment, she imagined. Yepper, topsy turvy gymnastics were most definitely Trixie's learned specialty~...well, aside from this one particular trick she gets asked to do all the time by her older male fans for some peculiar reason. One that she learned to do from specific bachelor parties which is performed with nothing more than her mouth, lack of gag reflex, tongue work, and a foot long balloon shaped exactly like a long, slender

"Cock a doodle doo!!!" Trixie blurted out when witnessing Aizen's impressive feat of flexibility, the harlequin sitting in starry-eyed wonderment and innocently unaware of Aizen's face smashing intent. Upended by him pratfalling like a seasoned clowning professional!!! Jubilant smiles shining through on Trixie's facials and offering him a pattering round of applause before shimmying Aizen onto his stomach. Trix snatching Aizen's legs upward before merrily spinning them about with a bootyfull bop of her bubble butt on his angled back and cartoonish "Boing!!" from the harlequin herself throughout her Bounce House. Than nestling her polka-dot pantied rump on his spine with his legs torqued back in an astoundingly expertly applied Boston Crab. "You're a natural at this, Mr. Porcupine!!! We should try out an act together!!! But ya gotta work on cheerin' up and smilin' more!!! Here's one I know you'll like. Didya know that last week I bet my butcher 20 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said Sorry Trixie...the steaks are too high!!!"

[BlackAkuma]

Aizen was not what you would call a prideful man. He didn't care too much about appearances or ‘looking cool’, even though some had described him as an edge-lord, whatever that was supposed to mean. That was all about perception, about trying to appeal to some standard about what a fighter should and shouldn’t be. So long as they didn’t hinder his ability to perform in combat, aesthetics were meaningless.

That being said, even he couldn't help but be a little embarrassed by what had just occurred. Either Trixie had an unbelievable spatial awareness, maneuvering herself into a spot where he was likely to slip up the moment he tried to counterattack, or he’d nearly busted his head after slipping on a puddle like an idiot. Neither possibility boded well.

He was eager to stand back up and correct that mistake, too, when Trixie came over and put an end to that, plopping down right on his back and pinning him to the floor. His legs came up, trapped, and he found himself in a Boston Crab - one of the better applied Boston Crabs he’d ever seen, too. Good torque, the right amount of bending, pulling him at the worst angle with his height. It hurt, quite a bit, and that was before he had to endure her attempts at entertainment.

”I don’t know-” He grunted and pulled himself forward, trying to scratch his way to the ropes, fighting for every inch. ”That doesn’t even make sense, that’s not the right way to spell ‘steaks’ in that instance…”

[killcarrion]

"...*siiiiiiigh*...Ya know yer really lettin' the air outta my whoppie cushion here, Spikey. I can't explain the joke to ya after the fact cause than there is no joke..." Trixie's joking tutelage coming with a deflated groan after realizing she had more work on her hands than she realized if the both of them were going to work out as the next great comedy pairing. Just like Laurel & Hardy. Abbot & Costello. Penn & Teller. Uh, the two old guys on The Muppet Show. The rainbow-colored goofette continued on struggling to think up more comedy duos all while Aizen just straight up struggled to endure her impeccably applied Boston Crab. Defying bookmakers by proving herself to be a more wily adversary than even she may have known. Hooking the martial artist's legs back as he scooted them towards the ropes until she'd finally come to a decision.

"Hrmm...alright, no more Ms. Nice Clown. I vow on my favorite rubber chicken that I am gonna make you at least crack a smile before the night's up. Even if I gotta break out every joke, gag, one-liner, and slapstick prank that I kn-"

"Trixie!!!...Aizen reached the ropes four seconds ago. You gotta let go or I'm gonna have to disqualify you."

"Eh?..." Trixie balked from the referee interrupting her valiant declaration and peeking over her shoulder to see Aizen hands snatching on to the bottom ropes, the cogs spinning in Trixie cranium a few more seconds before she abruptly hoisted her patootie upward and released her adversary's legs. "Whoopsie doodle, sorry about that. Now where was I...oh yeah. What do you call a sleeping bull?...A bulldozer!!!" Trixie perkily answered while standing over Aizen, shaking jive hands with an adorably joyful smile~...

[BlackAkuma]

Aizen did not like to think of himself as a prideful man. Quite the opposite - pride was a luxury that closed your eyes to faults, stunted improvement, and tricked you into underestimating your opponent. He strove to take his foes seriously, never letting preconceived notions get in the way of a fair and complete assessment of their abilities. It was a mindset that served him well, regardless of the arena.

But damned if he couldn't figure out how a clown was getting the better of him.

It was a thought that plagued him in his hellish journey to the ropes, even as she bent his spine further and further back. In a small way, it helped him along, made him more determined to drag himself along, to reach out and snag the ropes, earning his freedom…

….

….why wasn’t she letting go?

For four painful seconds, she kept the hold on, even as he shook the ropes and contemplated calling out for her to let go. It was only when the referee managed to get her attention that she finally released him, and by that time, Aizen was a sweatier, more disheveled man than he had been at the start. He usually tried to hide his pain, but there was no hiding the pain on his face. She had done real damage, given pain that would persist throughout the match.

It was fortunate, then, that Trixie seemed to have little interest in following up on the advantage she’d created, instead choosing to stand over him and make what he assumed was supposed to be a joke. ”Machines don’t sleep.” He spoke through his huffing breaths, as he grabbed one rope, then the next, beginning to stand.

Before he made it all the way up, he decided to take advantage of the small opening she had left for him - with his fists gripping the middle rope, he lashed out and swung his legs low, trying to catch her unawares with a sweeping kick to the ankles.

[killcarrion]

...*ping*...You hear that? That right there was the sound of the pin dropping after Trixie's quipping zinger went over like a lead balloon in church, or something. The pugnacious pinkette's perky posture remaining frozen in time along with her beaming smile after Aizen's shivering rebuke that chilled her to the bone, until finally she'd crack with a defeated slump to her shoulders. Flapping her lips in exasperation from realizing just how mercilessly monumental of a task she'd assigned herself today. Like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. Aizen's imposing stature and stone like facade certainly making this an appropriate metaphor, but so be it. Trixie perking herself up with a resolute slap to her cheeks, affirming her resolve with starry-eyed optimism. All this meant was that her prickly adversary here was going to be her mountain to climb. One arduous step at a time and scaling the edifice until Trixie can proudly plant her festive party flag on the top of his spiky haired head.

Little did Trixie know that all throughout her earnest efforts to sweeten up this sourpuss that she'd been accidentally wrestling circles around the frazzled martial artist. Working him over with spears, Boston crabs, monkey flips, seltzer bottles...almost like she was genuine bonafide wrestler. And by doing so given credence to the possibility that the stalwart warrior could end up with custard cream pie in his face and submitting to the jubilant jokester on his back. Except another thing that Trixie didn't know was that Aizen was working on a grand comeback all his own by sweeping the legs out from under the harlequin!!! "Hupupupup!!!" Trix flailing manically with high-pitched jabbering along the water slicked flooring, but suddenly finding herself falling into the safe embrace within Aizen's arms. Her swelled softness settling against his sweat soaked shirt and defined muscles behind it. Trix timidly opening one peeper at a time before gawping up at him with sparkled eyes that matched the now noticeable shine on her pursed lips thanks to her pink lip gloss~...

[BlackAkuma]

Finally, finally, getting some measure of offense to work on Trixie turned out to be a lot more satisfying than Aizen would’ve liked to admit. As much as he hated to admit it, she was proving to be more of a troublesome opponent than he’d surmised initially, showing time and again that there was some real skill hiding underneath the silly facade. Distractions and theatrics were powerful tools to the uninitiated, but Aizen was initiated, and they would only go so far against him.

But his counterattack worked, she fell down against him, and now he would…he would…um…

…hm.

Aizen had reached out to catch her, purely out of reflex, but after that, his plans just up and dissolved. Trixie laid atop him for a single brief, awkward moment, but it was more than long enough to process so many things. The smell of her hair wafting past his nose, her breath blowing over his chest, her shimmering eyes looking up at him. Time seemed to freeze, and even the audience grew quiet, as taken aback as Aizen was, and he found staring back as warmth started to grow and glow.

And then the moment passed.

Nope. No, no, no, no.

”Off.” Aizen jerked to the side, shoved Trixie off, and rolled in the opposite direction straightaway, trying to make as much distance between them as possible without leaving the ring. He grabbed the ropes, scrambled up to his feet, and turned back towards her with his fists raised in defense, not sure what to expect next but wanting to be ready for it all the same.

[killcarrion]

*...*siiiiigh*...What was I just thinking about again?...Makin' someone laugh or sumthin~...* One must forgive Trixie for misremembering what she was just thoroughly determined in accomplishing. The madcap harlequin had not only lost her entire train of thought altogether, but was now hopelessly lost within the stalwart warrior's eyes as well. Trixie drowning out all other distractions aside from the birds chirping all around them and sound of cupid arrows flying as she swooned from the musked warmth and chiseled granite Aizen embraced her up against. It was like being in a universal safety blanket~...except one with ripped muscles, handsome features, and perfect skin complexion. Like, wow. Trixie was all brimming smiles and fluttering eyes upon being adorably intoxicated from all the romance in the air, the crimson shade upon her flustered cheeks blending well with her bulbous red nose in the process.

"Huh? Off? Well aren't you feisty~...I mean...*giggle*...I figure we'll have the rest of the night for you to get me-" Trixie's infatuated misunderstanding, accompanied by her coyishly swirling her index finger on Aizen's pecs as she sheepishly glanced to the side, would be upended by him flinging her to the side!!! Trixie yelping in confusion as scurried to the side, but soon afterward vaulted up to her springing feet. "Ahhhh, who knew that beneath all those scowls and spikes was a lovesick secret admirer yearning to woo this humble clown's heart~..." Trixie's flowered words hummed alongside her swaying left to right, hands planted against her cheeks as visible hearts fluttered all around her, now beginning to prance towards Aizen and attempt to gracefully leap back into her new boyfriend's longing arms. "Embrace me once again beloved Aizey Wizey, and let our carnival nights together be sprinkled with fireworks and cotton candy~...