Everyone on the planet has a mother, even professional wrestlers. Most of them are never mentioned, of course, but over the course of time, a few matriarchal figures have made their way into the squared circle. In fact, they even made their names well-known among the fans, becoming hot sensations as a result. Also, we gotta admit that there's some kind of appeal in a woman who not only has this aura of maturity, but also has given birth. After all, there has to be a reason why the MILF section on Pornhub is so popular.
We have quite a number of them in the roster, and I'd like to list them and rank them from worst to best. Please be noted that this is my list, and while I believe that I am pretty objective when it comes to listing things, there has to be other people who think differently, and I can respect that. Actually, no, I can't respect that. If you think my list is wrong, come find me and we settle this mano a mano.
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14. Holly Matheson
Let us start the list from the bottom of the barrel. It has been made extremely clear why Holly Matheson is the current Loser's Champion. Her streak of losses and bad luck is so legendary that it makes people wonder when and how she's going to finally lose the mark of shame that is the dunce hat of LAW. And she also happens to be a mother. Yes, our Loser's Champion is a mom. A very hot one, in fact, like many other moms here in LAW, though she's actually pretty younger compared to the rest of the moms in this list. You gotta admit that while she loses a lot, she makes all her defeats look sexy, and that's a huge plus in my book.
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13. Mitsuki Blaze
The next one is a bit tricky. I mean, I rarely watched her, but she still hits the criteria of a mother, so that's why she's included here in this list. One thing that I can say about her is that she's got lots of kids, which meant Mitsuki got a little too busy with her hubby that she managed to get a huge number of children that could fill a baseball team. Though from my finding, it seems that her husband passed away for quite some time. Even so, she definitely gets my admiration for being the matriarch of such a huge family, and it happens that most of her children are also wrestlers. Talk about family legacy. And the fact that she has such a hot bod also helps.
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12. Audrey Hunter
Audrey Hunter is considered a veteran in professional wrestling, and she did show some potentials the first time she joined LAW. She has quite a prestigious past as a wrestler, though these days, she seems like she's been losing a lot than winning, to the point where she can be called a washout. Still, you can't deny that despite the apparent decay that she's been experiencing, Audrey Hunter is a hot babe who happens to have kids. And those kids are also wrestlers in LAW. She's definitely a prime example of MILF, and you can't tell me otherwise!
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11. Chika Igarashi
Remember when I said that Holly is our youngest MILF? It turns out that I was lying. It seems that Chika Igarashi is much younger than her. And I almost forgot to list her here, since she doesn't have this MILF-y feeling to her, but a mom is a mom. It turned out that she became a mom early, much earlier in her life. Like a certain Hugh Neutron once said, we all make mistakes in the heat of passion, Jimbo. It all works out in the end, though. I mean, she's probably younger than most others in this list, but she's still quite a snack, if you know what I mean?
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10. Persephone Kamenis
Speaking of making mistakes in the heat of passion, the same case can also be said about the next one in the list, Persephone Kamenis. She got her child before she joined wrestling, and this babe in particular is more focused on erotic wrestling than most others in this list. Well, she's a hot and sexy bombshell, so it can't be helped. She's certainly a treat to the eyes, and I for one will admit that someone like her makes me feel things at night, if you know what I mean. Also, my wife approves of this part, don't worry about it.
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9. Yuna Matou
Yuna Matou started out an apartment wrestler, who wrestled other women in apartment and had her videos taken for distribution. You know, the usual softcore stuff. Becoming a single mother after divorcing her husband, her story was quite a tale. From my finding, she wasn't even a trained wrestler when she became an apartment wrestler, though the video producer thought that mature women could rack more money than the younger ones, and he's not wrong! If I happen to find the producer, I'm gonna treat him to a drink. As for Yuna, I've seen all her old videos, and they're pretty nice to look at.
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8. Touka Akan
We all know that Asians are so slow at aging, and sometimes, you can even mistake a mom for a sister. This is the case of Touka Akan, the matriarch of the Akan family. Actually, she joined wrestling much later than her daughters, and I can respect that. From what I've learned, this is her first foray in wrestling, and she's been doing great for her first time. And the fact that she's so hot just like her daughters help a lot. If you're wondering which one is Touka, it's the short-haired one. The longer-haired one is Kyoko. Hmm... maybe Kyoko is Touka's clone?
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7. Aella Midori
Nicknamed "The Queen of the Sky", Aella is another one of the wrestlers in LAW who is also a mother. She is the mother of the rising star, Alizeh Midori. She has quite a colorful history, making a name for herself in this industry after training at Mexico. She did retire for quite a while to give birth to her daughter, though she returned back into the ring. And to cut the story short, she even joined LAW, after her daughter. And unlike many others, I can tell that she hasn't even reached her peak yet, and I'm looking forward to see how far this feisty mom can go in LAW.
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6. Athena Wonder
Athena Wonder, nicknamed "The Eighth Wonder of the World", she is pretty much embodies the definition of hot Amazonian superheroine, complete with red-and-blue spandex that certainly makes her looks sexy as she is powerful. She married for a while before divorcing her husband and taking care of her daughter on her own as a single mom, even as she wrestled full time. She had been wrestling in many countries before finally making her stop in Japan, where she joined LAW. Always eager to show her strength, she's certainly a force to be reckoned with and a treat to the eyes.
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5. Wicke Sykes
If nerdy, intelligent-looking is your type, Wicke Sykes is your gal. Not only that she's a wrestler, but she also has PhD! We all know it's hard to get that kind of thing nowadays, especially while being busy in the ring. She did retire for a while to have a family, and now she even has two kids and a loving husband! We all know that there's an appeal in a babe with glasses, and this comes from a guy who happens to wear glasses. And let's not forget her hot bod! We all know that we all prefer our gals plump and filled up, if you know what I mean. *wiggle eyebrows*
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4. Theresia Niedermeyer
Back in the day, she assumed the identity of Black Widow and won CWA Heavyweight title, though she retired and had a family. Still, after her husband left her, she went to train herself before returning into the squared circle, this time taking the identity of Cyber Widow. It's undeniable that she is the very definition of MILF, but she's also a bad mom who disowned her own daughter. Well, at the very least, that makes quite an entertaining story. Even if she's a jerk, she's still a treat to the eyes, and you can't deny me if I say that she has such a killer bod. Also, don't worry about me complimenting other women, my wife doesn't mind it at all.
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3. Panther Risako
Speaking of my wife, it's her turn to enter the list. I try my best to be objective here, so that's why I don't put her name at number one. Back in the days, Panther Risako, or Risako Sakuma (officially, she's Risako Fukuzawa, but let's not sweat the little things) was one of the top stars in the vaunted Wrestle Angels, and she was even nicknamed "Queen of the Ring". After being dethroned from her top spot by Mighty Yukiko, she decided to retire and joined me as a ring commentator, but she has now returned into the ring, and I'm sure you love to see her wrestle. You guys wanna know one tiny secret? She's quite a screamer.
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2. Dana Ashford
The matriarch of the famous Ashford family, Dana Ashford is well-known for her nickname, "Smiling Demon" and her prowess in the ring. As of this writing, she is the oldest one in the list, being 49 years in age, and she'll soon become fifty next year. Still, despite her age, she's still a force to be reckoned with, and you have to admit that her 'ara-ara' energy is off the charts. It doesn't look like she's going to slow down anytime soon as she grows older, and despite her age, she's still such a sexy specimen that you can't help but imagine all sorts of things at night, if you know what I mean.
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1. Alaina Sanders-Haines
And now, at number one, is the Amazon herself, Alaina Sanders-Haines. She's one of the most prolific wrestlers in LAW, and like many in this list, is among the sexiest. Even so, she's also the one who is the most wholesome despite her being a sexy babe, being unflinchingly a babyface and fan-favorite. Currently happily married, it seems that only good things await her in the future, and I for one, am looking forward to see what else she will bring on the table. Hopefully, she can even win a gold somewhere down the line before her inevitable retirement. Also, I'd like to admit that she's my favorite while growing up.
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And there you have it! The list of LAW's wrestling moms! If you think I'm wrong about this list, feel free to voice it out through letters or tweets or whatnot, but this is my list and I gotta stick to it. Here's Foul Tip Fukuzawa, signing off!