Looking Back with Eiji Matsumoto: Lars Ostberg vs. Black Widow (1992)

[CaptainL]

Written by Eiji Matsumoto

Yeah, that’s right. For my second foray into wrestling history, I’m once again looking at a match where Lars Ostberg faced a future member of LAW’s heavyweight division. Before anyone accuses me of favoritism, no, I didn’t plan for this entire column to revolve around that formula. But with Cyber Widow making it clear that she’s after the belt Astrid currently wears around her waist, I figured it was high time to give a look into where it all began.

Tonight, we’re traveling back to December 12, 1992, to Target Center in Minneapolis, where Lars was passing through the CWA for his second run in the promotion - he’d had a successful tag career there back in the 80s with his brother Lars, but by the 90s he was giving singles competition a shot, and it was in this capacity that he made his return - still to hot crowds, as the European Sensation was riding the peak of his popularity.

His opponent, on the other hand, couldn’t be any more different. A newcomer to the league and to the sport, having made her in-ring debut earlier in the year, sharing the ring with Ostberg was none other the Black Widow - not yet Cyber, but still a force to be reckoned with, having scored some high-profile victories and making it quite clear that she had her sights on then-Heavyweight Champion Mike Haggar’s title. On a side note...what kind of a name is “Cyber” Widow anyway? At least a Black Widow is something that exists, and Mrs. Niedermeyer clearly isn’t a robot. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, I say. But I digress…

Yes, this was once again an intergender match. The difference here was that no one knew it at the time! While we know her well as the legendary wrestler, wife, and mother she is, the Black Widow was competing under a mask and against men. Kids these days might laugh, but at the time, womens’ wrestling hadn’t caught on worldwide at the heights it enjoyed in Japan, and this was her only shot at the glory of a championship. The moment she unmasked for the first time to tell the world is a moment that’s gone down in wrestling history, and one so iconic I’m willing to look past how utterly stupid everyone had to be to fall for it! Yeah, you had a wrestler styling themselves after the Black Widow - y’know, the spider known for how dangerous the female is - and not even the lads rolling around and pressed up against her noticed anything? Why, they’d have to be just as hopeless of virgins as the average LAW devotee!

I’m getting ahead of myself again. On to the match!

This bout began, as per tradition, with a collar-and-elbow tieup. Both wrestlers joined in the center of the ring, circling one another as they exchanged a few shoves and jostled for the dominant position. At first, it looked like Lars had the advantage - not surprising, given he had Widow beat in size and strength. When it looked like he was starting to steer his opponent toward the ropes, however, that was Widow’s cue to strike! In a blinding display of speed and quick thinking, the Masked “Man” from Germany ducked down and delivered a quick punch into Lars’s gut, causing him to stagger back coughing and gasping!

Even at this point, well into the era of closed fist punches finally being allowed in the squared circle, Widow’s cheap shots and disrespect for the Norseman got her a few boos. But that wasn’t going to slow her down one bit, as she came charging in at Lars, getting off a few well-placed chops to the neck that sent him staggering back more and more with each blow! The hard edge of the hand, thrown at high speeds, never fails to hurt, and against a region as vulnerable as the throat, it can cripple a lesser opponent. Lars, however, was determined to prove he was no lesser opponent. Just as Widow’s arm came toward him again, he grabbed it, pulling her down off her feet for an arm drag!

Thus attaining a hold on her arm, Lars began to get into position, pulling the limb up between his legs as he prepared to set up an armbar. Widow was lying motionless, after all, and it seemed like it would be easy enough - but that was just what she wanted him to think. Soon she revealed her true colors, and Lars was caught in this Black Widow’s web, as she rolled over to reverse into a headscissor! With Lars’s head caught in between her legs, leaving him gasping for air, the referee was asking him if he would submit. Not one to succumb to pressure, however, Lars kept crawling toward the ropes, eventually getting to free himself with the rope break!

Even with Lars on the ropes, however, Widow wouldn’t let go. The ref was counting to five, and she had her legs locked in place - in fact, she was only squeezing harder, and the Norwegian’s face was growing red as the pressure built! One can only imagine the vice-like grasp of Widow’s thighs as the masked wrestler refused to let go!

It was a race against time for Lars and Widow alike, as the Norwegian was climbing up the ropes to try to get to his feet before he was out of breath, while Widow kept the headscissor locked down even as the ref issued his warnings. Just as Lars got to his feet, the count was at 4, and Widow was on the verge of losing to a DQ! Things weren’t over yet, however, as she let go just in time. She had unfinished business, and the match couldn’t end now!

Lars needed a moment to catch his breath, still hanging off the ropes. But Widow wasn’t having that. She charged into him from behind, hitting him with a brutal shoulder charge that knocked him to his knees - and left his neck just level with the ropes! That provided the Widow with a perfect opportunity, as she kicked him in the back to push his neck into the ropes, choking him with the cables! The referee wasn’t happy with this, and he got in between the two, breaking them up. But the damage was done, and Lars was left rubbing at his neck as his breaths came in hoarse wheezes. By this point, many were left wondering how the Norwegian could possibly pull out of this one!

At this point, Widow had decided to shift her tactics to something a little more subtle. Rather than go charging in blindly, she was going to hang back, waiting on Lars to catch his breath so that he could come to her. Evidently, the old proverb about the spider and the fly lost a few things in translation to Norwegian, because he took the bait, coming right back at her! Widow dodged a big boot, circling around Lars to get him from behind with a sleeperhold that only drew even harsher coughs from the powerhouse. Already weakened from the damage he’d taken, Lars began to sink to his knee, but it was then that he found the will to fight back, throwing an elbow behind him that hit Widow in the chest with enough force to shake her off!

From then on out, it looked like a comeback was in store for Ostberg! Inspired by the cheers he was getting from standing up to the Black Widow, he pushed himself to his feet and spun around to hit his second wind! Throwing a few elbows at Widow, he managed to keep up the pressure, steering her back with each strike, until she was in the corner - where he hit her with a hard-hitting German suplex! The impact rattled the ring, and Lars thought he had found the right moment to go for a pin attempt.

The one landed, and then the two! But once again, Widow was waiting for the right moment to catch Lars off guard, and she kicked out just before the three! This time, though, Lars was ready, and he picked her up for a bodyslam! What he wasn’t ready for was for Widow to counter him - and just as Lars went to cover her again, she went for the rollup! Lars tried to fight the pin, but his throat was getting the better of him, and even as he tried to summon his strength, he fell back down, at his foe’s mercy. Once again, the count reached two, and it looked like Widow was in the perfect place to win the match - only for her to abandon the pin then and there!

The crowd had no idea what was going on, or what Widow could possibly have up her sleeve. She had a perfect opportunity to secure the win, and she’d dropped it like a litter of unwanted kittens. Some of the more eagle-eyed viewers - of this match or of my recounting - will notice that there’s been a theme through Widow’s offense. Since the match had begun, she’d been targeting Lars’s neck. The reason why was about to become apparent.

Lars pushed himself back to his feet, breaking away from Widow. He went to rush her again, but, blinded by adrenaline, he didn’t realize that was exactly what the masked marauder wanted! Just as Lars closed in, Widow went for her signature Stardust Kick - unleashing a brutal roundhouse straight to the back of his head!

It was like the air was let out of a balloon. Lars fell to his knees, eyes glazed over. His neck had been left wide open, and it was the Widow’s cue. She had broken the pin earlier because this was how she wanted to end the match - with her unforgettable Frankensteiner!

There was no hope for Lars now. As Widow used her height to hoist the Norseman skyward, dropping him straight onto his neck from six and a half feet off the ground, doom had been spelled. He landed on his neck, his head bouncing up from the canvas before he came to settle motionlessly on the mat. Widow hooked his leg, and with the three count called, the match was over.

For the Black Widow, it was one step in a long line of victories that would propel her to the top of the card, and into her short-lived Heavyweight Championship reign. It was also proof of how brutal she could be when it came to her offense, targeting the neck just so that her Frankensteiner would hit that much harder, and making a spectacle out of her opponents in the process to ensure her finisher would be all the more devastating.

It’s because of that very finisher, in fact, that Widow’s original run was so short-lived. After she inflicted a career-ending neck injury on Yoko Harmageddon with the Frankensteiner, outcry from a number of wrestlers and officials pushed her into stepping down from the ring, seemingly for good. But it wasn’t by her own will - Widow wanted to keep competing, and she didn’t care how many people she hurt in the process. It was only the desire of the wrestlers and promoters to preserve the good name of the sport that stopped her.

Now, though? Now that Widow’s returned to an in-ring career in LAW, she’s not going to shy away from her infamous Frankensteiner. In fact, she’s even more eager to put it into play against Lars’s daughter in her pursuit of her championship. Only time will tell if history repeats itself.