W Y V E R N's AMA and Roast

[Hills]

Broke my arm. I've been informed that due to my "reckless disregard for [my] own safety, willful behavior during previous stays, and blatant refusal to obey the instructions of medical professionals," I'm going to be kept under observation at the hospital for an indeterminate length of time.

AMA.

Or post a picture of yourself and I'll roast you. Or someone you know. Or someone you don't like. I don't care.

If you for some reason both don't know who I am and are still here, I have a page on LAWiki you can look up. I'm not typing up a full intro with one hand.

OOC Stuff

First and Foremost
All credit for this concept, and most of the following information, obviously goes to dlamp. I've been wanting to follow suit for a while and this seems to be the right time.

General Kayfabe

• Saoirse decides to start a Reddit AMA. Hijinx ensue.
• In-universe, this takes place on a Reddit subforum. You can have the questions/posts be in character posts from your own characters or anonymous randos. You're welcome to specify in an OOC section or keep it a secret, but I'll put more work into engagement with actual characters.
• In order to keep the feel of it being a reddit post, a code is included below for formatting.
• Pictures for the roast component can be provided directly via character art or described.

Rules

• I don't have any real rules or requests, but I am answering all of these in-character. I make no promises of useful or engaging responses if you press one of Wyvern's buttons (visual reference).
• Nothing said or done in this thread is canonically binding. It's all roughly canon, but if there's any kind of story or timeline conflict, this thread is the first to go.
• I'm not going to answer, respond to, or engage with anything that references planned events that haven't happened "on screen" yet. I don't think this is a looming threat, but I'm stating it here explicitly.

Code

Spoiler

Code: Select all

[quote=u/USERNAMEHERE][size=85]TEXTHERE[/size][/quote]

*Color, if used, can be placed between the quote and size code.

[Sigma Morgan]

Do your worst Wy Wy or I might just break or bite the good arm

[Hills]

You look like a theater major who just stubbed her toe.

[CaptainL]

on a scale of yes to 10 am i the hottest girl in law

also whats the meaning of life

you said anything

[Hills]

@therealhanachoi You posted a picture wearing a bikini because you knew you'd need a handicap to be considered attractive in comparison to anyone else from LAW, and you're still only third place in this thread. And I'm about a 6.

The meaning of life is a deeply personal question. There's no universal answer, because meaning is found only by an individual. For example: I find meaning through conflict. I seek out the hardest challenges and the most brutal fights I can because the act of struggle is when I feel the most alive. I define myself by the battles I've fought. Even if I don't win, I find a single hard-fought loss more meaningful than a thousand easy victories would be. I struggle, I grow, and I avoid stagnation. This drive to keep fighting helps me to center myself and keep perspective in even my darkest moments.

By comparison, let's look at you. You don't embrace adversity, you fear it. Every part of your post is designed to take control and remove the sting of failure before even seeing my response. Starting your scale at "yes" ensures that there's no numerical floor I can use to insult you while operating under your established rules. Forget objectivity. You try to remove subjectivity and any possibility of a negative response holding weight. This would be ordinary, if vaguely pitiful, avoidance in a neutral environment. In a roast, it's pathetic. You try to seize control and break away from the structure of the contest because that means you never have to invest anything of yourself. If you never wanted to "win," then obviously you can't "lose," am I right? That a running pattern for you?

Physical attractiveness is highly subjective, but the appearances of women in LAW are heavily scrutinized due the celebrity status of many of our wrestlers and pornographic nature of much of our programming. You can find literally hundreds of "top 10 hottest girl in LAW" lists. Dozens of photoshoots or spreads in magazines, both physical and online. How many of those do you feature in? If you were even a contender for hottest girl in LAW, I'm willing to be you'd be in a lot more of them.

In the same breath, you drop this "meaning of life" crap. Even if that wasn't the single most tired "troll" question in existence, you can't even lean into how unoriginal it is; all you can offer is a middle-school level "no take backsies" and a vain hope I refuse to engage out of inability to give a meaningful response. I didn't, because unlike you, I'm willing to take that risk because I know I'll be improved through the effort.

What do you have, really? Your wrestling career is stalled out, your "jokes" are neither funny enough to entertain or aggravating enough to troll, and your looks have maybe another decade before they start to fade. What will you have left in the 50 years that follow?

[Sigma Morgan]

@Wyvern_LAW "you're still only third place in this thread. And I'm about a 6". Is that a subtle compliment towards me Wy Wy?

[CaptainL]

tl;dr lol

[FreestylePoet]

Questions - Characters

hi wyvern! omg it's so awesome to see you on reddit!!!! it's shiori takeda here btw if you didn't know (wow it feels so weird to be able to dox myself bc i'm already a public figure.......)

my question is: would you rather pick an opponent, and have the law viewing public pick your match type? or pick the match type, but let the public pick your opponent?

part 2 is, naturally, to make the choice. if you do the first option, you can't pick someone you've fought before or that you know!

oh also eiji told me to ask if you want to come by the magazine offices some time for a sit-down interview! everyone around here wants to be the one to finally get you on paper, but we allllll know who your fave writer is, right??

Hey, remember that little tiff we had on the cruise ship a few years ago? I think I left a souvenir program in your cabin while I was glitterbombing it. Mind sending it back to me? I can DM you a PO box. If not, no problem, I can just stop by your place... I can't promise you won't see another glitterbomb though! xD

Questions - Randos

Which one are you taking?

Danny Ocean style, you gotta put together a crew for a big heist at a Vegas casino. Who in the LAW locker room is getting the call?

Roasts

Yoooo! Could you roast my Cuzzy Zay-Zay? You know she deserves it!!

[Hills]

tl;dr lol

*Wyvern does not respond to this.*

@Wyvern_LAW "you're still only third place in this thread. And I'm about a 6". Is that a subtle compliment towards me Wy Wy?

Interpret it however you like.

hi wyvern! omg it's so awesome to see you on reddit!!!! it's shiori takeda here btw if you didn't know (wow it feels so weird to be able to dox myself bc i'm already a public figure.......)

my question is: would you rather pick an opponent, and have the law viewing public pick your match type? or pick the match type, but let the public pick your opponent?

part 2 is, naturally, to make the choice. if you do the first option, you can't pick someone you've fought before or that you know!

oh also eiji told me to ask if you want to come by the magazine offices some time for a sit-down interview! everyone around here wants to be the one to finally get you on paper, but we allllll know who your fave writer is, right??

I don't know who you are, but judging by the amount of punctuation you use that's probably for the best.

I would rather choose the match type. If I really want to fight someone I can always just jump them backstage, but the LAW crowd...let's just say I have no interest in participating in Nude Baby Seal Oil UWU match or whatever other degenerate filth they could come up with. Eugh.

There are a lot of underutilized deathmatch variations in my opinion. If I had to pick one, right now I'd say Caribbean Barbed Wire Deathmatch. In this case in particular, I'd want something visually intimidating. If my chosen opponent wasn't up to snuff, I'd rather they see what they were getting into and quit early rather than have to waste my time with them.

I don't know what an "Eiji" is, but it sounds whiny. Regardless, I'm about to be hideously bored for the next few months, so I'll consider it.

Hey, remember that little tiff we had on the cruise ship a few years ago? I think I left a souvenir program in your cabin while I was glitterbombing it. Mind sending it back to me? I can DM you a PO box. If not, no problem, I can just stop by your place... I can't promise you won't see another glitterbomb though! xD

Feel free to drop by.

Which one are you taking?

Spoiler

Obviously Charmander.

Danny Ocean style, you gotta put together a crew for a big heist at a Vegas casino. Who in the LAW locker room is getting the call?

Assuming they aren't allowed to say no, everyone. We wouldn't have any chance of success, so the more chaff there is the more likely I can escape without getting arrested.

If they are allowed to decline, I go by myself because I'm not dragging Alizeh down with me.

Yoooo! Could you roast my Cuzzy Zay-Zay? You know she deserves it!!

Spoiler

Your cousin has no visible abs and obvious contempt for the continud existence of endangered species. #AlizehMidoriIsACaptainPlanetVillain.