What's Happenin'! with Top Heavy

[Dubski]

Spoiler

Coffee.

Coffee was the one thing in life that Casey Kiernan could rely upon.

People always let her down, in increasingly tragic fashions. Just today, Casey was asked if she could record an informative promo about their next upcoming show. Painful. And then they asked her to field questions to a wrestler for the LAW Magazine. How could they? And the worst thing of all? Asking her to do an interview on the stage. Absolutely unforgiveable.

And worse yet, she didn't have time to have one nap, let alone two. Potentially the worst day that Casey can remember. Kiernan would try to pawn it off on the other interviewers, but they specifically asked for her. How did she not do a good enough job doing a bad enough job at this point? When were they going to give up on Casey, being fed up with her extremely poor work ethic? What more did Casey Kiernan have to do to prove she was the absolute worst person for the job?

A mystery that she hasn't figured out a solution to yet. And not for any lack of trying. So she had to do her intense effort of doing the most minimal research on her guest: Top Heavy. Three people. They were trying to overwork her. Potentially kill her and lead her to an early grave. Interviewing one person was bad enough, but three? It seemed almost impossible.

"Asami," stated Casey Kiernan backstage as people hurriedly set up her stage, scribbling on notecards between looking at her phone. "Give it to me straight: am I terrible at this?"

The stage hand bit her lip, shaking her head as she looked pained. "Noooooooo..."

Looking desperate, Casey glanced to the stage hand. "Please... be completely honest."

Looking conflicted, she gulped and nodded. "Yes, you're... not great."

With a loud groan, Casey gestured to the stage. "Then I'm not doing bad enough! How!?" Taking a deep breath, she collected herself before pouting. "Thank you for being honest with me, Asami. I can always depend on you to keep it real."

"Well, it's Izumi, and... I don't honestly know what to say to that," replied the stage hand, baffled.

With a heavy sigh, Kiernan nodded, giving her a pat on the shoulder. "I know. ...I know." Then, Casey would prepare herself for the inevitable. That damn song.

Get Over It by OK Go started to play, and Casey Kiernan stepped through the curtain to face the crowd. Shesmiled cheerfully, waving to the crowd, briefly dancing to the song with coffee in hand and blew kisses to the waiting crowd. The stage was loud, tacky, and had one cozy chair and a matching couch, a small table between them, with a giant sign hanging from the ceiling that glowed saying "WHAT'S HAPPENIN'! With Casey Kiernan" on it. She waited for the song to end before greeting the crowd with a big smile on her face, waving at them with her non-coffee-holding-hand. "Hello everyone! Thank you for joining me for Whaaaaaaaat's Happenin'! with Casey Kiernan. And I'm your loveable host, Casey Kiernan! Today, we've got ourselves... three wrestlers. Three whole wrestlers today. That's three times as many as I usually have on this show." She then paused, staring out at the camera, a lost and afraid look in her eyes. A faraway gaze, knowing the impending trauma of what was to come. "...Anyway!" Casey smiled cheerfully once more. "That's also three times the fun, right!? That's so much more fun than usual! In theory!"

Kiernan would then take a deep breath and said, "And with all of that fun coming up, we shouldn't waste any time to get it over with as soon as we can!" She paused, biting her lip before correcting herself. "...Get it started as soon as we can." The interviewer gestured to the stage entrance, Kiernan would take a long sip of coffee as she waited for her guests to arrive!

[Devilish53]

Spoiler

There would be no shortage of curves nor cleavage this evening as Top Heavy took their cue, emerging almost in rank as the music began to play. Leading the way, Mizaki emerged first with her hand high - a smile to her face as she walked a good few steps in front of both her stablemates. Bea was next to follow with Anna held by the hand. They'd greet the crowd as well albeit in less of a lively, if more honest manner as their hands came high. As opposed to their leader, both Bea and Anna had genuine smiles upon their faces, despite the fact that there were few positive ways this interview could go. Mizaki, ever the conniving schemer, didn't truly care how it went. So long as she came out on top.

Sitting first, Mizaki naturally chose the spot closest to Casey with Bea soon sitting down on the opposite end. Despite their being more than enough space for even the curviest of figures, Anna would take to standing behind the couch with her hands atop of it.

As the bellows and wolf whistles began to calm down, albeit Mizaki would have been happy for them to go on forever, it was now down to the four women taking center focus to begin the interview. Though despite the fact Casey was simply giving them time to make their entrance, Mizaki couldn't hold in a mutter of impatience.

"Well..?"

[Dubski]

Casey Kiernan heard the Top Heavy theme song play and instead started sorting her note cards, pursing her lips as she perused them. She was sure they'd find their way to the couch. It was a small stage. But she had three times the note cards as before. And it was terrible.

Eventually, the music died down and the noise from the crowd was done, and Mizaki was the first to speak up. Suddenly jerking up in surprise, Casey looked up at the stable she was meant to interview, and then glanced around briefly before saying, "...Well, hello there! Welcome to Whaaaaat's Happenin'!" Her lips tightened as she took a moment to look at all three of them individually. She would then take her cup of coffee and sip it, exhaling softly after. "I was kind of hoping you would stagger your entrances... Maybe a few minutes each so that way I didn't have to interview everyone at once... But it's okay."

Kiernan would then look far more chipper in an instant. "More than okay, as a matter of fact, because we have three times the fun on today's show! Just... So much fun!" Briefly, Casey looked bitter about it before taking another sip of coffee.

"Now, because my note cards are all mixed up and I don't know who is who, we can all just take our time answering the first and arguably most important question today: Whaaaaat's Happenin'!?" Casey would cheerfully say before her smile disappeared the moment she began shuffling her cards again.

"So yeah, let's just start with that one. How about we go in order of... Blonde, bluenette, and other bluenette," said Casey, waving her free hand as she continued to look at her cards. "Don't worry, I'm listening. Just go ahead and talk." Casey would, in fact, not be listening. But her note cards were a mess and she was struggling to figure out who they were each about. "Oh and maybe introduce yourselves individually... So... everyone else knows who you are." And so Casey would, as well.

[Devilish53]

Casey could of been the single nicest individual in the world. She could of rolled out the red carpet, sprinkled glitter and even given Mizaki flowers upon their entry.

The bluenette would still have treated Casey with hostility and coldness. It was a wonder she ever got one recruit in Top Heavy, never mind a duo!

The look on Mizaki's face gave the game away instantly - it was as if she was actively looking for a fault or ten to pick out. And as Casey spoke on, the chances of picking out problems with her would-be interviewer presented themselves.

"I'm sorry, but what?" Mizaki leaned forward, her hands to the sides of her hips as she tried to drill her scowl in. "Perhaps offer instruction next time? Rather than simply hope we can read your mind?" The prospect of coming out one at a time was a reasonable one, that would of made this entire encounter easier for Casey to manage. Mizaki, needless to say, found her fault.

"I think what Mizaki is saying..." Bea hummed, taking focus off of her stablemate as Mizaki slumped back, arms crossed as if she were a angry toddler. "Is we love to move and talk as a group! We're good friends in and out of the ring!" Bea's positive attitude would work wonders on repairing the damage Mizaki had instantly caused, though her efforts to look to Anna for input would be completely in vain.

"I'm mostly green rather than blo-" "THIS is Anna..." Motioned Bea, interrupting Anna who was now stroking her long locks and eyeing them. "You've already met Mizaki, our esteemed leader...and I'm Bea!" Bea tried to smile wide enough for her and Mizaki both as she nodded to Casey.

There was a chance this interview could of gone off without a hitch if Bea was the only one here. A shame it was, that Mizaki was slumped next to her.

[Dubski]

Despite saying she was listening, there was barely any part of Casey Kiernan that was paying attention. Instead, she tried to organize her note cards accordingly as the girls all took turns speaking. She barely even noticed the antagonistic tone of Mizaki. She huffed softly as they all spoke, this puzzle of facts about these girls becoming slowly more sensible in her mind as she chewed on her lip. And then, finally, she got them organized.

Or at least she thought she did. She'd worry about it later though. For now, it seemed like her cue to speak again, nodding with a smile. "That was all very funny, interesting, and profound, I'm sure," said Casey, offering a catch all response to... whatever it is her guests were saying. It may have fit the situation.

But then she took another moment to look at them before finally heaving a sigh and taking a sip of coffee. "...Okay, so I hate to have to do this, but I think we just need to get this out in the open, because I think we're all feeling the tension here," stated Casey, narrowing her gaze at the group. "Is this a joke to you? Am I not worthy of your respect? Does What's Happenin' With Casey Kiernan not seem like it's worth your time to come out here? Because I can just feel the disrespect right now," said Kiernan as she settled to look at Mizaki.

"So I just need to ask..." Suddenly, Casey looked back over to Bea. "Bea, is there a reason you've just decided to insult me and this show? I slaved and did the most minimal amount of research for this, and you show up like this?" explained Kiernan as she gestured to Bea. Scornful, disrespectful Bea. "You come out here. You don't even put on the stripes. No wings. No stingers. Am I just not worth it to you? Do you only put on the bumble bee outfit for the big time interviews like Jimmy Fallon? You can't be bothered when it comes to Casey Kiernan?"

Taking a defiant sip of coffee, Casey shook her head. "The floor is yours to explain why you've hurt me like this. Proceed," concluded Kiernan as she kept a very close eye on Bea.

[Devilish53]

Both Mizaki and Bea caught wind of the fact that Casey had arrogantly failed to pay attention, but for now the interviewer was spared a stern response by Mizaki. If only by the fact that Bea leaned forward and gently put her hand on her thigh, as if to calm her. Not that it stopped Mizaki loudly huffing and tapping her foot all the same. Not to mention muttering something under her breath...

Though damn if Bea didn't regret stopping her stable leader for a change.

Eyes wide with genuine shock, Bea barely resisted the urge to look at Mizaki - who herself was shooting Bea a look back that could easily be read as 'can I kill her now?'

Instead, Bea coughed in abrupt, loud fashion, before leaning forward with her hands now together.

"I'm not sure...I'm not sure what you-" "That's very mean."

A stunned silence washed over both Mizaki and Bea, and perhaps even Casey herself, as the quietest, meakest member of the Top Heavy stable pushed her way in verbally.

"Bea always looks good...That's a very mean thing of you to say..." Anna had undoubtedly found Casey's words purely to be spiteful towards the appearance of Bea - completely overlooking in dimwitted fashion the further implications of what Casey had just said - yet they applied perfectly to the situation all the same.

"You should say sorry..." She'd huff, a rare sour look on Anna's face as she crossed her arms, with both Mizaki and Bea looking on rather shocked that Anna had taken such a stand.

Though any chances of a genuine apology coming from Casey's lips were about to be shattered. Courtesy of Mizaki.

"Look I'm not sure what-" "Yeh say sorry. You fucking dog."

[Dubski]

Casey waited expectantly, watching Bea closely. She wanted--nay, probably deserved an apology. And preferably a lengthy explanation to kill more time ahead of their match up. As Bea was about to do just that, it appeared that Anna was going to speak up instead, accusing Kiernan of being mean. Mean? Having to do an interview for wrestlers is mean! There was nothing Casey could do that would be meaner than anyone forcing her to do her job! And had she done so better, she may have been surprised at Anna being the one to speak up.

Instead, Kiernan looked confused, taking a defiant sip of her coffee as the girl spoke after being told to apologize. Casey huffed right after--this was certainly not the explanation she desired. And as Bea tried to get another word in edgewise, Mizaki had interrupted with an insult--recoiling Casey back as she put a hand on her chest. "A dog? Mizaki, I am a human. That's obvious. I clearly have thumbs." Then, the interviewer held up her hands, twirling her thumbs as if to prove her point.

Then, she looked to Bea again. "But you are a bumble bee, Miss Honie," said Casey confidently, pointing directly at her. Then she looked at Anna, giving her a more sympathetic look as opposed to the expression she gave the others. "And I'm sorry Anna. You are a precious flower and thank you for being here. There seems to be confusion all around because Bea does look good. But she's not a bee. That's the problem right now," explained Kiernan, giving what was still a very misguided explanation of the events. "We'll get back to you in a moment though because we need to get back to Mizaki."

Shifting in her seat to look at Tantka once more. She took a deep breath, eyeing her up closely before asking, "Mizaki. You're the leader of this crew of women. But there's a little bit of debate over the name. Top Heavy. I'd like to clear it up today, if that's okay." Casey leaned back, gesturing at the three women collectively. "Explain the thought process when you decided to name your group after your huge... massive... voluminous... luxurious... soft... hair," said Casey, offering a more friendly smile. "It's on top of your head, and it's thick, so I think we all understand that part of it. And it's also very lovely, and you might want to share what conditioner you use as well. But it seems like a controversial choice to name your group after everyone's hair, so what motivated that? The floor is yours." Gesturing confidently once more, Casey Kiernan proudly waited for an adequate answer from the most prickly member of Top Heavy.

[Devilish53]

The ball was entirely in Mizaki's court - both thanks to Casey handing it back to her, and thanks to the fact that neither Bea nor Anna wanted any part in trying to verbally restrain her. Bea felt as though she could have at least cooled off Mizaki, but what would have been the point given the nature of their meeting? Mizaki would no doubt seek out Casey again sooner or later, given that Mizaki simply was not one for leaving things be. And Anna? She didn't know how to diffuse Mizaki even if she wanted to. And in a rare change of pace, she didn't want to given the vibes she was getting from this interviewer!

"You're not funny..." Mizaki snarled, leaning forward in a motion that pushed out her bust, which funnily enough fit the topic at hand rather well.

"I don't know who told you you were, but they were fucking lying." Her hands now under her bust, Mizaki's disdain for 'top heavy' based jokes was apparent. Or maybe she was just after an excuse to go after Casey, and truly throw this interview under the barrel.

"Now..." She'd turn, raising a hand to point at Anna. "Apologize again and mean it. You sniveling little cunt..."

[Dubski]

Casey Kiernan's proud expression shifted at the first response of Mizaki, dripping into her more defeated and morose expression she normally carried when she wasn't on camera. And a lot of times when she was on camera too. It wasn't necessarily the words that bothered the interviewer, but more the combative nature that would make this even more unpleasant and harder. Casey's head bowed slightly as she was being berated, accepting that this was happening and not putting much of a fight against it.

Then, Kiernan would look back up when Mizaki was done, looking deathly serious, and said, "I promise that nobody has ever told me I was funny. Ever." Letting that comment linger for a couple moments, Casey's lip twitched slightly and then she adopted her more presentable smile to Mizaki again. "We'll table that question for later. But I will apologize to Anna."

Turning to face Anna, she offered her a smile. "Hi Anna. You're looking.... effervescent tonight," stated Kiernan. "But I want to apologize... on behalf of all of LAW and the fans. Because for some reason, there's some kind of perception about you that you're..." Casey then says in a smaller tone, "Not that bright." Kiernan would then shake her head. "A perception I don't agree with at all. And so I decided that you and me are going to debunk that right now, while you solve a very simple question."

Offering Anna a reassuring smile, Casey Kiernan would then clear her throat and look at her note cards. Taking a deep breath, she then speaks at an accelerated pace. "Two trains, Train A and Train B, start from different cities 500 miles apart and head towards each other on parallel tracks. Train A travels at a constant speed of 60 miles per hour, while Train B travels at a constant speed of 40 miles per hour."

Taking another deep breath, Casey would then continue. "And at the same time that Train A and Train B start their journey towards each other, a bird sitting on top of Train A takes off and flies at a constant speed of 80 miles per hour towards Train B. Upon reaching Train B, the bird immediately turns around and flies back towards Train A. It continues flying back and forth between the two trains until they meet."

Casey would then pause, smiling patiently at Anna as she concluded, speaking at a regular tone. "How far has the bird flown by the time the trains meet, and how long does it take for the trains to meet?" She would then offer Anna all the time she wanted to answer the question, to help prove her intellect to the LAW crowd!

[Devilish53]

Neither Mizaki nor Bea had the slightest bit of know-how on how to answer Casey's oddly offered question - Anna had next to no chance. Mizaki, needless to say, didn't even try to help her stablemate, given there was only one thing to focus on for her.

The fact that Casey had just given her another reason to pick a fight - by outright stating the obvious for Anna!

Despite her efforts to restrain Mizaki, Bea would be left with her hands flapping in a vain effort to restrain her stable leader. She could but watch as Mizaki went not for Casey herself, but the drink that the host had placed upon the small table before her. A lucky thing it was for Casey that said drink - a previously boiling coffee - was now well beyond a temperature deemed tepid. Mizaki, needless to say, wouldn't have any issue with doing what she was about to do had said drink still been boiling...

Not as she threw the coffee directly over Casey, covering her top and part of her neck with what remained in the cup!

"SMART ASS LITTLE BITCH..." She'd scream, no doubt in tandem with both Bea and security trying to restrain her. All the whilst Anna turned her gaze to the sky and held it there, as if she was seriously pondering the question thrown upon her...