Princess Muffette Schwarzenbach

[Malkavia]

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Core Character Concept / General Background
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Sparkling in the uncounted spotlights of her country’s assembled press as she stood on the ancient parapets of the Rosenschloss Balcony, the most famous daughter of the Schwarzenbach dynasty raised a microphone to her lips.

“Subjects of Waldorf! I come to look in the eyes of a great and historic people. I come, people of Sonderheim, to ask—to demand: What do you want from your monarch?” Princess Muffette’s amplified voice boomed over the heads of some thousands of subjects gathered in the courtyard. “Do you, as some of your compatriots lead me to believe, want a slave? A pawn to tradition? Some symbol of nothing to splash on the snow globes and vintage spoons and other bullshit sold to foreigners?”

There was a crash. Someone had thrown something heavy and made of glass—perhaps a wine bottle—and it had shattered against the balcony. Muffette’s eyes sparkled. The irony, the delicious irony! These reactionaries, these enlightened aristocrats of Waldorf-Sonderheim, were throwing cocktails at their monarch.

“Or would you, true patriots, accept me as a conqueror, a Kaiser who takes tribute from the bastards abroad and FUCKS in the name of Schwarzenbach?”” 

“Sprich gefälligst deutsch!” Speak German! Gosh, she almost laughed. Was that how little it would take to win them back? But she wouldn’t even give them that. The news channels, the bloggers, the YouTubers, all the little connections to LAW and LAW’s audience, they spoke English, so Princess Muffette would speak English. Instead she closed her eyes and adopted a low, dangerous tone.

“I am, by right, your royal Mother.” 

A heaving, dissonant cry rose from the assembled. “Sub Deeeeeo, Eleeeeeecti!” A familiar chant: Under God, chosen. Once a signifier of the divine right to rule, it was now a reminder from her supposed allies that she served under the auspices of their Church. Or churches. Half the bastards were Protestant and still thought they had the right to claim ownership of their royal mother’s soul.

“It is a Mother’s duty to bear the mirror, to show the ugly truth. Your truth is this: You have become small, small, SMALL!” Sub Deeeeeo... “Small-minded, small in spirit, small enough to be crushed under heel. The Schwarzenbach family has one gift left for you small people.” ...Eleeeeeecti! “On your behalf, I am going to mount the most beautiful women in the world.” Sub Deeeeeo... “And I’ll be filmed.” ...Eleeeeeecti!  “And you’re all going to watch me fuck.”

The chanting began to dissolve into a furor. Insults and demands mixed among the crowd as rage built on rage until it grew into something fiery and unintelligible. If it were not for the vast vertical space, there might even have been danger.

“Try and tell me you won’t. Lie to me. It amuses us for you to lie. We tell you with a command higher than Heaven, with more iron than the laws of the Rosenschloss, and with a certainty superior to God’s, this generation of Waldorfen will watch their princess use her fist to FILL a woman to her cusp…” Muffete made a thrusting motion, face flushing, fist tight. What would a cunt feel like around her arm? Something like her husband’s anus, more than likely. The passage would be tight, would be hot, and would squeeze her rhythmically, needily as her in and out gyrations sent the whole body into spasms. “...And then we will turn to you, subjects of Waldorf, and instruct you to curse your secrets—to do whatever the fuck you wish, wherever and however and with whomever. This is how we discharge our royal duty to you, my dear subjects.”

Princess Muffette and her husband would each be signed to the LAW roster officially on July 2 of 2022. In spite of the efforts of elder Schwarzenbachs to disown the troublesome heir, the Schwarzenbach Monarchy would be dissolved five days later by an act of parliament following the overwhelming results of a general referendum.

Princess Muffette continues to use her now out-dated royal title.

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Biographical Facts
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Sex: Female
Age: 21
Eyes: Dark brown, almost black 
Hair: Pinkette, almost always worn as two long pigtails.
Height: 6’0”
Weight: 164lbs
Nationality: Waldorf-Sonderheim, a tiny French-German principality bordering Germany, Luxembourg, and Belgium
Alignment: Heel
Entrance music: God Save the Queen (Sex Pistols)

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Combat Style
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Early to Mid Match. Strengths.

“Life spent standing still is life wasted, so my prerogative is to keep moving, keep sprinting, keep leaping and diving and flipping and cartwheeling—whatever the fuck it takes to make me feel excited and lithe and alive.”

Muffette’s opponent called herself an “empress,” because God forgot to give rich, blonde, and gold-bedecked brat over there a sense of shame. So much the worse for Serona: Muffette’s mission was to shatter undeserving aristocracy.

DING DING DING

Both wrestlers exploded from their corners, Serona throwing a punch, which Muffette dove under like she was sliding into first base. Now behind Serona and on the ground, the Princess curled her legs up, put herself in a ball of gangly, wound-up muscle, and then sprang up with her elbow angled up. Serona stumbled as she took the missile full in the back.

"FUCK…” Muffette kept moving with the momentum and shoved the spoiled pretender into the ropes. Then the best of the Schwarzenbachs turned on her heel and charged to the opposite end of the ring and rebounded off the ropes.

(What these people forgot was that Muffette was fast. They looked at her and saw tall, long legs, but they missed skinny. They missed the way legs that long on a frame that thin could explode. And speed plus weight meant power).

Muffette covered the last five feet of ring-space with leap and a dropkick. Caught between the force of 160 pounds of royal body and the counterweight of the ropes, Serona’s lungs collapsed with a wheeze and choked expletives.

Kicks weren’t a specialty of Muffette’s, but sometimes you just needed to put your heel into a deserving opponent. “Classy language there, cunt,” the Princess of Waldorf said as she scraped her heel against Serona’s face. “You know, you’re reminding me of something, kid. There is nothing in the whole fucking world more repulsive than cash without class.”

Weaknesses

“Yes, honestly, the technical discussion of submissions is about two university degrees over my fucking head. We can power through, sometimes, with the tinier little girls. But if not—well frankly those are the situations where we the Royal Mother must dig deep, burrow in with our blood-caked nails, and hold on.”

It was her long legs and almost disproportionate arms that gave the Shogun so many avenues with which to humiliate the Princess. The Shogun had put Muffette through a repertoire of submissions—a Texas Cloverleaf to put fissures in her back, a figure four lock to bow her legs...The most embarrassing, though. That had be the flying armbar. She’d been beaten at her own acrobatic game by a tiny Japanese aristocrat in a gi and a mask.

Now Katsuki held her in something simple—a dragon sleeper. “This is pretty easy for me. You should buff up on your submissions, princess.” Muffette made a noise, something meant to be a roar, or a grunt at worst, but which came out like a squeal as she bucked. She pressure on her throat was enough that she could feel her pulse against the clamp around her neck.

“I’m going to end things with a blood choke in just a moment. But while I have you, permit me a few questions?”

“First, I observe you have type in your targets. Wealthy girls, or at least girls connected to power, yes? And yet I can’t help but notice you maintain a staff of servants yourself. Quite loyal, that retinue of yours. And while you lack the ostentation of, say, a Reinhardt, your lifestyle certainly isn’t cheap.”

“So my question is, which are you? A predator eliminating qualified competition? Or a hypocrite?”

Hentai Style And Finishers

Hentai (Nudity, NSFW)

”’Do I do hentai?’ You must be American. Even Waldorfen find more elegant phrasing for their stupidest question. Yes, I fuck. I fuck every day. I fuck until I’m tired and then fuck some more, and sometimes I fuck on camera so my subjects have the privilege to watch.”

“No, they are still my subjects. Why do you think my work in particular draws so many views from Waldor-Sonderheim, hm? I’m not just any porn star to them, apparently. I am their Royal Mother, and however many papers they may sign to lie about it, whatever acts of Parliament they pass, they show what I am when they watch. And they have to live with their hypocrisy, while I get to live a life of conquering and fucking for the motherland.”

Finishers:

The Royal Bicycle

Given a running start, the Princess drives a bicycle knee into her opponent’s face—ideally while they are held up against a ringpost. (Dirty) Depending on match stipulations, she might substitute in a two-foot dive into her victim’s groin.

Pillory (NSFW, mild nudity

(Submission) Pillory: The Princess has elected to display her victim for public ridicule. She and the victim are positioned on opposite sides of the ropes. Muffette locks the victim’s arms over the top ropes and their knees around the bottom rope before bending them across a tarantula backbreaker.

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Law Information
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