Something that you did here that I like is that you used a lot of action words. She didn't moan in pain, she hissed in pain. She didn't go forward, she dashed into the attack. This does a good job of really bringing the excitement to life. She doesn't do a backhand, she throws a backhand. There is an inherent emotional part of this on the reader's end, and it really gives your post some energy.ragaz wrote: ↑Sat Aug 25, 2018 10:35 amMoonyoung managed to overpower the opponent by pulling hard, but before the woman was thrown the hell off the boxer, Jun managed to deliver a solid and precise chop at Lee's wrist, forcing her to hiss in pain. This woman sure knew how to strike precisely - even in such a situation she managed to strike at the weakest part of Moonyoung's arm. Lee took a moment to move and roll her hand around to get a better feeling of her hand, which felt strange for a bit. Of course, she also wanted to rush back in at her opponent at the moment's notice.
And there was a golden opportunity for that as Lee saw Jun tumble through the ring floor. Moonyoung dashed in for the attack despite having a numb feeling in her hand and wrist area, so she would just throw a backhand while dashing at her foe. However, it looked like Jun rolled onto her knees after she finished her epic tumble and set her sights on the boxer before the latter landed her hit. Since Jun would be aware of the attack now, it would be a hard gamble for Moonyoung, but since she was already near her opponent and the backhand was already underway, she had to carry on with the plan despite the risk and then respond accordingly if it failed.
You might want to work on your sentence length. That last sentence is a bit of a whopper. It is sometimes easy for the reader to lose focus on the idea behind one sentence if it stretches forever, especially if a few sentences in a row are like that. Mix it up. You shouldn't just have long sentences, and it might be a good idea to try something like short long long short just to keep the reader engaged.